What Does It Mean to Be Bi-Curious? 15 Things to Consider

cropped image of two people sitting close together, tentatively holding hands share on PinterestJavier Pardina / Stocksy United We include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a little commission. here ’ s our procedure. Can ’ metric ton tell if you want to be or bone the new barista at your go-to coffee shop ? on the spur of the moment feeling *intrigued* by the bisexual stars on your sociable feeds ? recently google “ am I bi-curious ” ?

If thus, it ’ s possible that you ’ re bi-curious ! Keep read to better understand what bi-curious means. Plus, learn how bi-curiosity is exchangeable to and different from bisexuality.

So is this the ‘Q’ in LGBTQ+?

The Q in LGBTQ+ can stand for “ questioning ” or “ queer ” — and sometimes both. person who ’ randomness question is person who ’ s presently exploring their sex, and so folks who are exploring whether they ’ rhenium bisexual ( AKA bi-curious ) can fall into that class. What about gay ? The suffice is a little more complicated. When it comes to sex terms, there ’ randomness broadly a definition that most folks who identify with the term consumption. But the e-x-a-c-t definition of different sex terms can vary based on who ’ randomness doing the define. so, some people who identify as bi-curious may use a alike definition for bi-curious as the definition for queer, and frailty versa. But bi-curious and thwart typically *aren ’ t* synonymous. broadly public speaking, gay is defined as not the average. think of : not cisgender, not heterosexual, or not allosexual .

But far more than a sex or sex identity, for most queer people, fagot is besides a political identity .

Bi-curious differs from “ gay ” in two chief ways :

  1. Bi-curious is only a sexuality identifier. It can’t be used as a gender identifier.
  2. Bi-curious isn’t inherently political.

Where did this term originate?

The inaugural documented manipulation of bi-curious was somewhere between 1984 and 1994, depending on the reservoir. exact year aside, the term debuted when androgyny was gaining visibility in the United States. ( For mention : 1990 was when the first national bisexual organization coalesced. )

Who can be bi-curious? 

typically, when people talk about bi-curiosity, they ’ re talking about people who are ( or were ) heterosexual who are now exploring attraction to people with genders similar to theirs, says Ochs. But make no mistake : “ People who are ( or previously were ) gay or lesbian can be bi-curious, besides, ” she says. “ And same goes for any other sexual identity. ” In short-circuit : Anyone can be bi-curious.

Isn’t that the same thing as being bisexual?

again : sex terms vary depending on who ’ s defining them. And some people think androgyny should be defined broadly enough to allow people who are presently exploring their ( bismuth ) sex to inhabit it .

But by and large speak, the deviation between bi-curiosity and bisexuality is that one is a less stable identity ( bi-curious ) and one is a more stable identity ( bisexual ) .

Bisexuality, says Ochs, is typically used by a person who ’ s sealed that they have the electric potential to be attracted to people with genders similar to their own and unalike to their own. “ Bi-curiosity, on the other hired hand, implies an doubt, ” she says.

Why is this distinction so contentious for some?

sadly, notes Noel, “ there ’ s a lot of stigma surrounding bi-curiosity. ” Why ? “ Some people believe that when curie and ( previously ? ) heterosexual women identify as bi-curious, they ’ rhenium doing it to appease the male gaze, ” she explains. In other words : They ’ rhenium doing it to be hot. Spoiler alert : commonwealth of independent states and ( previously ? ) heterosexual people of any sex can be truly interest in exploring the different genders they ’ ra attracted to ! “ There ’ mho besides a fear amongst the LGBTQ+ community that bi-curious people are outsiders who are going to infiltrate thwart spaces, mess with its members, and then leave, ” explains Ochs. In other words, there ’ s a fear that bi-curious people are going to harm more lay down members of the LGBTQ+ community by dating them in a half-assed way. This fear wholly ignores the fact that LGBTQ+ people have the representation to make inform decisions about who they do — or don ’ metric ton — date. ultimately, concerns around the term bi-curiosity are normally merely biphobia in another costume .

however you identify is valid. And person else ’ s discomfort with your sex or the sex label you use for yourself doesn ’ t make your identity any less valid .

Why might someone opt to use one term over the other?

“ Labels are designed to help us name our survive feel and our identity, ” explains Noel. indeed person might choose one label over another because they feel it best speaks to their identity.

How do you know if this is the right term for you?

There ’ s no Buzzfeed quiz you can take or blood test you can get to learn your sex. “ You ’ ra allowed to choose whatever word feels best for you, ” says bisexual militant Shiri Eisner, author of Bi : Notes for a Revolution. “ Does ‘ bi-curious ’ give you a common sense of comfort ? A sense of venture ? Is it fun to think about it ? Does it make you glad ? Does it make you feel good about yourself ? ” she asks. If you answered yes to any of those questions, it may be the properly term for you !

What does bi-curiosity look like in practice?

Bi-curious implies that person is actively exploring their ( bismuth ) sex, which can be done in a wide variety of ways .

1. Get swiping

current relationship structure and status allowing, create an on-line dating profile and set your preferences to two or more of the gender options. Be concern in who you feel drawn to swipe justly on .

2. Actually go on IRL or URL dates with folks of a variety of genders

experience international relations and security network ’ t a prerequisite to bisexuality, says Noel. “ You absolutely do not need to go on dates with or have sex with two or more genders to know that you ’ re bisexual, ” she says. That said, actually going on dates can be helpful for person who ’ s questioning whether they ’ re bisexual. After all, it ’ mho very possible that you ’ re aesthetically drawn to a particular gender on a dating app but not actually concern in ever dating or getting down with them. A series of dates may reveal just that .

3. Noodle on your media consumption

Think about the television shows and movies you watch, books you read, or podcasts you enjoy. next, think about the people/actors/characters in those mediums who you feel more connected to. Are they bisexual ? Queer ? Are they sexually ambiguous ? Do they have sexual tension with person of a alike gender ? If sol, spend some mind ability thinking through that .

4. Connect with the LGBTQ+ community, especially those who are “B”

“ For some, connecting to the bisexual community plays a huge role in feeling comfortable identify as bisexual, ” says Noel. That ’ south why she recommends following, engaging with, and having conversations with bismuth folks .

What if you identify more with the term bisexual or even another label?

Congrats on finding a label that fits !

Your sex is allowed to evolve, and the terms you use for your sex are allowed to change. Identifying by a different identifier nowadays doesn ’ metric ton mean that you lied when identified as bi-curious, that you were never in truth bi-curious, or that you were only using it as a carapace .

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