How Long Should Sex Last? What She Ultimately Wants

Hourglass timing how long sex should last
There ‘s nothing like sex that makes us lose track of fourth dimension. In the midst of passion and adam, a minute can feel like an hour .
It ’ s for this argue that many of us feel like sex goes on for longer than it actually does .
thus how long do your intimate encounters very last ? many of us don ’ thymine know for surely because we ’ ve never truly timed them .

Quick FAQs

How long should sex last?  How long sex should last is not such a square and easy question to answer. Everyone is different ampere well as every site. What ‘s crucial is that sex should last long enough for you and your spouse to reach orgasm.

How long does the average guy last in bed? A 2005 multinational survey showed 5.4 minutes was the average clock time cashbox ejaculation for men. How long does it take for women to reach climax? The Journal of Sexual Medicine reported that it takes women about 14 minutes to reach climax — about 3 times longer than the average male ! What are some options to increase the duration of sex? There are many solutions for men to increase the duration of sex, including ( but not limited besides ) ; the extort method acting, edging, using a stay spray like Promescent®, practicing kegels and reducing operation anxiety. You can learn about each in detail by reading the full article or searching our blog. Of class, you could pull out a stopwatch then following fourth dimension you and your collaborator get kittenish … but that ‘s not very aphrodisiac or romanticist .
And, odds are, knowing that you ’ rhenium being time might very well make the sex different, and possibly less enjoyable .
To borrow a principle from quantum physics, the observer effect states that the act of observing a phenomenon changes it .
Let ‘s flop through the mystery : how long does sexual activity normally last ?
How long does good sex last ?
How does it compare how men and women think their sexual encounters normally last, and what they think about how long sex should end ?
And if you suddenly feel prison term coerce, that might not make for the best arouse .
The truth is that you don ’ thyroxine necessarily need to know precisely how farseeing you spend on sex because what matters most is whether you and your spouse are enjoying the clock time you spend on it .
But if you ’ re finding that one of you is regularly dissatisfied because sex constantly seem to end excessively soon, the consequence of timing becomes an significant one to address .

sol how retentive does sex normally last for most people ? How long does good sex last ? And how can you make it last longer if duration becomes a trouble area in a relationship ?

So how long should sex last?

There ‘s an comfortable answer to this question—if all partners are satisfied with a sexual school term, the objective length of the act is insignificant .
For example, if you were both in the mood for a fast, passion-fueled band aid, a two-minute play might be equitable the tag, and there ’ randomness nothing faulty with that .
But under typical circumstances, what ’ s the right amount of time to spend on arouse ? A 2008 survey offers some penetration of sex therapists perceptions of normal .
The 50 therapists surveyed reported the following ( highly subjective ) conclusions :

  • One to two minutes is “too short.”
  • Three to seven minutes is “adequate.”
  • Seven to thirteen minutes is “good.”
  • Up to thirty minutes and beyond is “too much.”

In the horizon of these therapists, that intimate endurance athlete who bragged about an hour-long sex seance may have done so at the expense of his spouse ‘s enjoyment .
note that these numbers are just for penetrative vaginal sex—they don ’ t include time spent on foreplay or early forms of sexual stimulation, which are important in their own right .

placid, in a populace where leaked fame arouse tapes and pornography scenes routinely concluding 20-40 minutes, it ‘s comforting to know that the doorsill for dependable arouse is a lot, a lot lower .

How long women want sex to last

How long should sex last for women

But that ’ s fair what therapists say. so what do women say they actually want when it comes to sex ?
In a study of 152 heterosexual couples in Canada, researchers found that women said their ideal length of clock to spend on sexual activity is 14 minutes on average, which is actually not excessively far off from what the therapists said .
In addition, women said they ’ d like to spend an extra 19 minutes on foreplay, for a grand entire of 33 minutes of sexual closeness .
As for the men in this study, their ideal length of time for sexual intercourse is 18 minutes, with an extra 18 minutes spent on foreplay, for a full of 36 minutes .

The dear news program is that men and women are about perfectly in credit line with what they think makes for an ideal arouse session—and they both think it ’ s important to spend adequate ( if not longer ) amounts of time on foreplay as they spend on actual vaginal arouse .
unfortunately, however, these ideals don ’ metric ton always match up with reality .

How long does sex actually last

In the same Canadian study mentioned above, participants were besides asked how long they actually spend on sex .
Women estimated that vaginal intercourse lasts around 7 minutes, with an extra 11 minutes of foreplay. Men provided exchangeable estimates : 8 minutes on sex and 13 minutes on foreplay .
however, those are just estimates and might not be reliable .
so what about when people clock time how retentive sex objectively lasts ?
A 2005 multinational cogitation looked at 500 heterosexual couples who had been in relationships for at least six months .
They were asked to measure the clock of their sexual activity sessions with a stopwatch over a period of four weeks .
The learn looked specifically at “ intravaginal ejaculation latency prison term ” ( IELT ), a non-sexy term for the length of time between the here and now vaginal sexual activity begins and ejaculation occurs .
The IELT measurements varied wildly, ranging from 33 seconds to 44 minutes .
however, the average sex clock of the discipline participants clocked in at 5.4 minutes .
A 2009 dutch study found like results : 474 men from five different countries reported their IELT, with a range of 6 seconds to 52.1 minutes .
The medial was six minutes and the median was 5.7 minutes .
When you combine the results of all of these studies, it seems that people estimate that the duration of sex should last longer than it actually does, by at least a couple minutes ( 7-8 minutes versus 5-6 minutes, respectively ) .

It takes women longer to reach orgasm — but why?

The IELT alone measures how hanker it takes men—not women—to compass orgasm. So how long does it normally take women ?
A 2019 study put the number at 13.4 minutes, which is more than doubly angstrom long as the average ridicule lasts .
however, it ’ randomness significant to note that this numeral wasn ’ triiodothyronine about duration of time from penetration to orgasm ; rather, it was based on how long it took to reach orgasm following the “ intense desire for sex in the presence of erotic stimuli. ”
If this male-female orgasm discrepancy sounds bare, there is a eloquent line, which is that 69%  of women in one study noted that vaginal sex alone was not sufficient to induce orgasm .
In early words, for most women, orgasms are about more than just penetration .
This is one of the bad reasons why so many women place such an emphasis on foreplay : most of them don ’ thyroxine count on vaginal penetration alone for their orgasms during arouse .
A 2015 study of women under 35 years of old age discovered the follow eye-opening facts about the female orgasm during arouse :

  • 6% of women reported always experiencing orgasm during vaginal sex.
  • 40% of women reported usually experiencing orgasm during vaginal intercourse.
  • 16% of women reported experiencing orgasm roughly half the time during vaginal sex.
  • 38% of women reported infrequently experiencing orgasm during vaginal intercourse.
  • 14% of women reported never experiencing orgasm during vaginal sex.

Putting the latter three numbers together, we see that 68 % of women say that they reach orgasm half of the meter or less during vaginal sexual intercourse .
however, it ’ s possible to change this country of affairs .
research finds that women ’ sulfur odds of orgasm are higher when clitoral foreplay is combined with vaginal penetration .
Women ’ s odds of orgasm besides go up when activities occur other than vaginal intercourse take place during sex, besides, specially oral arouse .
These findings speak farther to the importance of foreplay and why it can ’ thymine be overlooked .

How long does sex last if it’s your very first time?

No scientific studies to go steady have examined how hanker sex should final when people do it for the very first time .
anecdotic reports vary wildly and condom use decidedly plays a adult character.

Some men report being overwhelmed with sensation and emotion, ejaculating within seconds of penetration .
With more have, many of them will find that the duration of arouse increases naturally ; however, some of these men must teach themselves to delay ejaculation if they want to be estimable in bed .
By line, other men report difficulty reaching orgasm for the first fourth dimension .
For some, this may be due to nerves ; for others, it may be because the sensations of vaginal intercourse are radically different from the sensations they ’ re used to from masturbation ( after all, not all guys use the same masturbation techniques ) .
For these men, it may take a bit of practice to learn how to reach orgasm through intercourse .
Both of these circumstances can potentially be traumatic to sexually inexperienced men, given the high prize that indeed many people place on a seasonably orgasm during arouse .
No one wants to be the guy who “ ca n’t satisfy his partner. ”
Both the guy who orgasms excessively quickly and the valet who has trouble ejaculating may wonder if something is “ wrong ” with them .
In each of these cases, these fears are typically grandiloquent .
It takes clock to build up adequate experience and intimate proficiency before a guy can settle into his “ average ” time to reach orgasm .

Does good sex necessarily mean lasting longer in bed?

The short answer is no .
Every person and every sexual relationship is unlike .
And some women prefer shorter periods of penetration .
For example, some women are more prone to experiencing pain during sex, and for them, a longer sexual session can be very physically uncomfortable .
Likewise, some women barely prefer activities other than penetration when it comes to reaching orgasm, which means they might not have a lot interest in a longer session—they ’ five hundred quite that clock time be spent on other activities .

But let ’ s say you have a partner who does want prolong vaginal sexual intercourse .
What can you do to build up your stamina ?

How to Make Sex Last Longer

Men who find it unmanageable to last longer than a minute or two without ejaculating may have reason to worry that their partners are not satisfied, specially in light of how sex therapists define an “ adequate ” intimate session and what women say their ideal amount of time for vaginal sexual intercourse is .
Of course, check-in with your spouse before assuming you know what they want. not all women want arouse to be a marathon, after all .
communication is winder .
however, if you find that you aren ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate durable a hanker as you or your collaborator would like, you should take quilt in knowing that there are enough of things that can help prolong sexual sexual intercourse .


many men find that using condoms decreases ace and helps them control their premature ejaculation .
Condoms have the add benefit of preventing pregnancy and reducing the spread of sexually transmitted infections .
however, for couples who prefer unprotected sex, condoms may be an unsatisfactory solution .
besides, if you have latex allergies, finding the right condom might be a little more challenging ( in this case, consider polyurethane alternatives rather ) .
If condoms are not a viable option, or if you find that using them does not delay ejaculation, there are enough of early options for you .

Experiment with Different Positions

Exploring different sex precisely might help when it comes to lasting longer in bed. Some positions reduce muscle tension, which can help delay orgasm .

  • Partner On Top – Cowgirl

Cowgirl sex position to make sex last longer

  • Face-to-Face Perpendicular – Yab-Yum

Face to face sex position to make sex last longer

  • Spooning

Spooning sex position to make sex last longer

  • Coital Alignment Technique – Grinding Missionary

Coital alignment technique to make sex last longer
Some may besides find that frequently changing positions during sex helps delay ejaculation, but check with your partner before mixing it up excessively much .
Your collaborator may have their own position preferences and comfort levels. Again communication is key .

Delay Sprays

Promescent delay spray helps men last longer in bed
A desensitize delay spray can besides be a good option for men who want to be well in bed .
Promescent, a topical anesthetic recommended by over 2,000 urologists, is as a safe way to reduce ace in the penis in order to avoid overstimulation .
For best results, simply apply the stay spray to the bottom of the penis and/or the most sensible areas ten minutes before penetration .
Promescent is FDA compliant and has minimal transfer risk to your partner ( good make sure to let it absorb amply before beginning intimate activity ) .

At-Home Techniques

Certain home exercises can help you treat previous ejaculation at home and make arouse last long .

The Squeeze Technique

This doctor-recommended behavioral discussion for ejaculation involves stimulating the penis to the “ point of no come back ” ( the point at which more stimulation will induce ejaculation ), but then squeezing the forefront ( or base ) of the penis in order to prevent orgasm and dial rear arousal .
This method can help men learn what their “ point of no come back ” feels like so they can calibrate their intimate stimulation to avoid it .

Start and Stop Method

To drill, the start-stop method, absorb in sexual activity with your spouse but then stop for respective seconds when orgasm is at hand .
Wait until the urge subsides, then resume action .
With meter and patience, the stops could become fewer and farther in between, making arouse sessions longer and more comforting .

For more information read our guide: how to do the squeeze technique and start-stop method for premature ejaculation


Masturbating prior to sex ( 2-4 hours before ) may increase the distance of time you will be able to last in bed .
While there are no scientific sources to verify this, anecdotic reports from men suggest that it can work .
Some guys say that it releases built-up sexual tension before the act, allowing a reduction in anxiety or nervousness .
besides, this can allow you to take advantage of the fractious period —the duration of time following an orgasm during which extra orgasm either aren ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate possible or are much harder to reach .

Both the squeeze technique and the start-and-stop method acting can be practiced during masturbation, besides, so you can attempt these solo before jumping into bed with a partner .


Asking how long arouse should last and giving a elementary, conduct answer is unmanageable, if not impossible to do .
While we can take averages from studies and report card those, the fact of the count is that the answer varies wildly across persons and couples .
We know that, on median, the duration of sexual activity for men is about 5.5 minutes during acute vaginal sex, while women say, ideally, sex should death about three times that long .
however, this time gap can be closed through the use of sexual enhancers like Promescent, ampere well as the addition of more foreplay and other intimate activities, like oral arouse and clitoral stimulation .
As always, however, remember that there is a batch of individual variabilities.

Some women may be quick to reach orgasm from acute sex, while some men may be boring to orgasm .
It all depends on the needs, wants, and desires of the partners .
so don ’ metric ton get so hang up on time. If everyone is satisfied with the result, that ’ s all you can truly ask for .

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