Should I Have Sex With My Ex? What to Consider Before Sleeping With Ex

arouse is amazing. Like ice rink skim, it ’ south one of those things that all women should have with literally whomever ( or toppings ) they want. But sexual activity with an ex-wife ? *Insert Warning Sign Here* This contented is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the lapp content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their network locate .

Is an x an ex-husband for a reason ? Most decidedly. But that doesn ’ thymine necessarily mean you can ’ thymine ever have arouse with them again. Foolin ’ around with person you once had feelings for can make things messy, although there can be some good things that can come from it besides.

We spoke with experts to dissect every little thing you ’ re wondering about going down this slippery slope—from what warning signs to look out for to how you can move on from an ex-husband post-sex. Why might having sex with an ex be a good thing?

1. FWB, that you?

    Hello, meet the fellow who already knows your soundbox, knows what makes you tick, and knows what can turn you on for a five-minute band aid. If you can forget the baggage and hush have a friendship or common esteem for each other, voilà. “ This can help each of you to have a intimate spouse you know and trust, particularly if you ’ re not ready to start a new relationship, ” says certified arouse therapist Rhoda Lipscomb, PhD .

    2. It could provide closure.

      “ One last hurrah could seal the bargain, ” clinical psychologist says Dara Bushman, PhD. It ’ mho passionate, intense, and gives you one survive dip of that queso before you go on solid 30 .

      3. You trust them.

        possibly a one night stand international relations and security network ’ t your thing and you ’ re getting real tired of touching yourself—we hear you, girl. So sexing with person you already are comfortable with can be rewarding. “ There ’ s a level of comfort and entrust from your history that may not be present with a new partner, ” says sex and kinship adept Megan Stubbs. Why might having sex with an ex be a bad thing?

        1. It may prolong your bond.

          scientifically, the chemicals that get released during and after arouse attachment you together, says Rachel Wright, cofounder of Wright Wellness Center. “ Oxytocin lasts retentive in a woman ’ s body than in a man ’ sulfur, so females may feel the abstruse fastening begin to form again, while it might not for a man, ” says Wright. This could leave things, erm, a bit messy .

          2. You are hoping to change your situation.

            fact : Sleeping with person is not going to make them suddenly want to get back together with you. “ When one collaborator has moved on from the relationship and the other has not, returning for sex can create an excessive optimism in the less-healed spouse, ” says arouse therapist Stefani Goerlich, LMSW .

            3. They are hoping to change the situation.

              “ Continuing to have sex with them will alone give them more reasons to keep trying and to guilt you into giving them another luck, ” says Lipscomb. Doin ‘ the deed might feel full in the moment, but leading on person you used to care about will not .

              4. You have a harder time moving on.

                “ Sex interferes with the process of moving on, ” says clinical psychologist Mark Sharp, PhD. “ sex with your x extends the clock you are emotionally unavailable for a new relationship. ” What should you consider before you have sex with an ex?

                1. Are you intoxicated?

                  Drunk texting is all fun and games until you wake up the following dawn with your ex snoring beside you. In other words, preceptor ’ t make the decision to hook up with an x while you ’ re under the influence. “ There ’ s a reason it ’ s called a intoxicated dial, ” says Wright .

                  2. Do you both agree the breakup was a good idea?

                    If not, this could lead to the worst kind of feelz and mix signals.

                    3. Do you still want to be in a relationship?

                      For obvious reasons, avoid investing time and energy into person who doesn ’ t want the lapp from you in return—even if that means being their 3 ante meridiem booty call that you swear is n’t anything .

                      4. Do they still want to be in a relationship?

                        If you have no intention of rekindling the flare, it ’ second best to keep things broken up for thoroughly. Let the dissolution do its thing, female child. What should you discuss with your ex before you have sex with them?

                        1. Expectations.

                          Ask the crucial questions—like what they want and what they expect from having sex. Having clear communication ahead with honest, genuine answers helps make sure you both are on the lapp page says Lipscomb .

                          2. As of now, what your feelings are for each other.

                            “ It is significant to know how both of you are feeling about each other and the dissolution itself, ” says Goerlich. If there ‘s any inconsistencies with what you both want or how you both feel, it may be bright to steer net of sexing. This capacity is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the same capacity in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web web site .

                            3. Will this be a one-time thing or ongoing?

                              basically, clarify if the interest of sexual activity is for closure or to gain a fun, FWB situation. This helps to set intentions for how to proceed after sex .

                              4. Are you seeing other people?

                                For one, it ’ s authoritative to have a conversation about who you ‘ve been sleeping with post-breakup to discuss sexual health and likely STIs. For two, this helps with making certain you ’ re prepare for what happens after you have sex. How do you move on after having sex with an ex?

                                1. Remember, there’s a reason you two aren’t together anymore.

                                  While the sex might have precisely been amazing, the kinship hasn ’ t constantly been. You merely experienced a high with them, which could explain why you ‘re on the spur of the moment reminded of the good times with them … but do n’t trick yourself into forgetting the bad times. An ex-wife is an antique for a cause .

                                  2. Seek closure in whatever way you know how.

                                  “ You can ’ thyroxine unring the chime, thus decide what is best for you moving advancing, ” says Stubbs. Does that mean talking it out with friends ? Writing your feelings out in a journal for closure ? Or going on a social media rampage and blocking your S.O. on every platform ? Do your thing, girlfriend .

                                  3. And be careful about how you leave things.

                                    Words are knock-down. “ Don ’ t say ‘ I ’ ll call you ’ or ‘ I ’ ll text you ’ if you don ’ thymine mean it. If you ’ ra not planning on a reprise, say, ‘ It was decent to hook up with you one last prison term, ’ says relationship therapist Theresa Herring .

                                    4. Don’t just ignore the fact that it happened.

                                      “ Ignoring the sex could make your mind wander and go wild, ” says Lipscomb. “ Knowing what each other is thinking is very brawny and helpful to making it a good ending to your kinship. ”
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                                      Category : Sex Tips

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