To clear up any confusion ( and replace it with coming ) we put together this scissoring how-to lead. You ’ rhenium welcome.
What is it?
Before we get to scissoring, we have to define tribbing. frequently used synonymously with scissor, the word “ tribbing ” is defined as sexual intercourse where two folks with vaginas rub their vulva together — which can be achieved in any number of positions. indeed what does this have to do with scissor ? According to Finn, “ Officially, tribbing is the sexual act, while scissoring is one specific position. ” however, most people use the terms interchangeably. “ Scissoring is a colloquial term, so there ’ s wiggle room in the definition, ” says Finn.
So what is scissoring exactly?
If you ’ ve always watched lesbian pornography, chances are scissoring is the specific position you saw. “ It ’ s hard to explain what scissor is without precisely saying the word ‘ leg ’ over and all over again, ” jokes Finn. It requires two people facing diametric directions with their legs spread ( like, um, scissors… ) shimmying together until they meet at the bits. From here, they can wiggle, grind, and gyrate their genitals together in a way that feels the most enjoyable. “ The finish is to simultaneously stimulate each other ’ second external hot spot, ” she says.
Yes, people really do scissor
due to the pornification of scissor, the position frequently brings up questions like : Is it barely a pornography thing ? Is it real ? Do veridical lesbian, women-loving-women, and queer folks actually do it ? so permit ’ s be clear : Yes, it ’ sulfur real status. Yes, folks actually do it ( and some like it ). But no, this international relations and security network ’ t the lone direction two vulva owners have sex. Nor is it a put only for lesbians or folks with vulva. ( More on that below ) .
Anyone can give it a go
While some sources, like the Merriam Webster dictionary, still define tribbing as a “ homosexual practice among women, ” this definition is antiquated. historically, scissoring was seen entirely as something that could happen between two vulva owners .
it’s important to remember
- Not all vulva owners identify as women.
- Not all women or vulva owners identify as gay, lesbian, or otherwise queer.
nowadays, scissoring international relations and security network ’ t seen as being specific to gender, sexual orientation, or genitals. Finn explains : Some remember of scissoring as any position that entails any kind of genital-on-genital touch or rub. “ Others use scissoring to describe any kind of grind or sleep together. ”
It doesn’t have to be genital-to-genital
That ’ randomness right ! While scissoring normally entails genital-to-genital liaison, any movement against a partner ’ randomness thigh, butt, hep, leg, arm, front, or fist can qualify. Because the definition of scissor has expanded to be more genital- and gender-inclusive and nonspecific, sometimes it can be used interchangeably with sleep together, grinding, straddling, or rubbing .
As a general rule : What counts as scissor is truly up to you and your partner .
If the intimate natural process you and your partner do feels like scissoring to you, you ’ ra welcome to use the term. There ’ sulfur no scissoring patrol. promise.
What does it feel like?
According to one 2015 survey by Autostraddle, an on-line chopine for lesbian, bisexual, and queer women and nonbinary folks, over 40 percentage of people who identify as lesbian, bisexual, or queer women scissor regularly. So, some folks obviously think it feels good ! Allison B., 37, regularly scissors with her girlfriend of 3 years. “ We both love clitoral foreplay, so being able to simultaneously receive clitoral stimulation is truly enjoyable. personally, I like it better than a vibrator or strap-on sex. ” like goes for Francie H., 25, who scissors with some of her sexual partners, but not all. “ It ’ s a bang-up stead for common pleasure… when it works. sometimes, based on body shapes, flexibility, strength, and pleasure spots, it just doesn ’ metric ton knead. But for my partners it does ferment with, it ’ s a regular detail on the sex menu because it feels like fireworks. ” Cue Katy Perry. Annie N., 29, a lesbian trans woman adds that, “ scissoring can be a actually identify-affirming sex position for folks like me. ”
FYI, it may not work for everyone
There are like… a thousand sexual activity positions out there. And not one of them works for everybody or every soundbox ! So it shouldn ’ t surprise you that, as Francie noted above, scissoring is a no-go for some folks and couples. “ It ’ s a versatile sex act, but that doesn ’ thymine mean that everyone will enjoy it, or that it ’ s physically potential for all sexually active folks, ” says Finn. “ Scissoring is frequently thought of as being a more physically active and acrobatic position. ” Depending on the particular iteration of the position, congress of racial equality intensity, upper berth body potency, and hip mobility may be required. It ’ s not an attainable position for all body combinations. For model, “ I ’ ve had partners where we could scissor in all kinds of positions and others where the mere idea was physically impossible, ” says one Autostraddle survey respondent. “ Scissoring is my least darling sexual act because I ’ megabyte not a contortionist, ” wrote another.
Can you orgasm this way?
You might be able to ! It depends what you need to orgasm ( BTW, figuring this out may require prioritizing some alone clock time ), and if that necessitate is getting met in the scissor positions you and your partner are trying. Finn notes that for folks with vulva, scissoring may offer a higher chance of orgasming than traditional penetrative sexual activity. Why ? well, according to the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, 37 percentage of american folks with vulva required clitoral stimulation to climax. And scissoring decidedly provides that. Of course, joy — not orgasm — should be the point of any sex position. again : scissor is customizable, so if you do want to orgasm, adapt the placement to best fit your needs .
What positions work best?
You and your partner will have to do some experiment to determine what works best for you. Below, Finn shares three positions to try .
Named because it looks like two scissors meet in the middle, this is what most family think of when they think of scissor. “ It ’ s one of the better scissor positions for using a double-ended dildo, ” adds Finn. The more you know ! To give this a test :
- Lie down on your side with your legs spread.
- Facing the opposite direct, have your partner slide between your legs so that you meet at the genitals.
- Move and play around until you find a pleasurable rhythm.
The thigh hump and bump
This military position is basically good humping and labor, but Finn says, “ it works because you can alter the sum of coerce apply based on what feels good. ” To give it a test :
- Have one partner lie on their back, legs spread, and the other partner climb on top.
- The top partner can straddle one of the bottom partner’s thighs, so that their upper leg applies pressure to their partner’s bits.
- Use your lips, hands, and tongues to tease each other as you find a rhythm.
For more acrobatic couples, Finn says this matchless is worth an undertake. To give it a hear :
- Have one partner lie on their back, one leg lifted in the air.
- Have the top partner straddle the leg on the bed, while holding the top leg up.
- Shift side-to-side, until you find a position that is mutually pleasurable.
- The bottom partner can also pleasure themselves while the top partner rides their thigh.
How to practice safer scissoring
Scissoring international relations and security network ’ t synonymous with safer sex. In some cases, pregnancy is possible. If there ’ s genital-to-genital touch, sexually transmitted infections ( STIs ) can still be transmitted, including those transmitted through skin-to-skin liaison or by bodily fluid .
“ The best way to protect yourself is for you and your collaborator to be up-to-date on your STI condition and to communicate your status before scissoring, ” says Finn. If one or both of you has an STI, or you don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate know your collaborator ’ second status, she recommends dental dams when both folks have vulvas and condoms when one or both partners has a penis. To use a dental decameter during scissor, apply lubricate to both sides of the dam. Have one partner hold the dam in target, between the two genitals. As you might guess, alveolar consonant dam aren ’ t perfect protection. “ It ’ s pretty easy for alveolar consonant dams to slip and move mid-romp, and for there to be accidental genital contact or fluid transmission, ” says Finn .
again, sometimes scissoring includes penis-in-vagina penetration. In most cases, this means that pregnancy is potential. If you want to avoid pregnancy, you and your spouse should discuss give birth control options, which may include hormonal birth control or condoms .
The bottom line
Scissoring has some unplayful pleasure potential. Will it work for you and your collaborator ? Go find out !
Read more: How to Have More Pleasurable Doggy
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York–based sex and health writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She ’ s become a dawn person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eat, drink, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and love story novels, bench-pressing, or pole dance. Follow her on Instagram .