100 Relationship Questions To Ask Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend

If you ‘re dating person, odds are that you know quite a bunch about them. But hey, it ‘s crucial to prioritize getting to know your partner throughout your stallion kinship : People *change* over fourth dimension, which means that there ‘s always more to learn. That ‘s where these kinship questions come in. “ It ‘s important to grow with your partner, not in face-to-face directions, ” says Jenni Skyler, PhD, a attest sex therapist, sexologist, and licensed marriage and family therapist for AdamEve.com. “ If we continue to have a dialogue about our values and goals, we can ensure we are going in the same life direction. ” Noted ! ( See besides : Take This Couples Quiz To See How Well You Know Your Partner ) This message is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web web site .

That said, it can be hard to know the specific questions to ask. Like, should you ask them about their by ? How they ‘re feeling right now ? What they want for the future ? Yep. It can be reasonably damn confusing. ( And chilling ! ) That ‘s why I compiled a list of 100 ( yes, 100 ! ) expert-approved questions for *every individual stage* of your relationship. interest ? commodity. Keep read .

When You’re Dating

Odds are that things hush feel pretty modern. You ‘re credibly going on dates together, hanging out regularly, and talking on affair but you have n’t fully ~defined~ what you are even. “ These questions can offer a deeper look at each person ‘s interests and values to see if go steady makes sense, ” says Skyler. Basically, they ‘ll help you get a sense of whether you two are relationship corporeal. ( More : 200 Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someone Better )

  • What are three things on your bucket list?
  • What are the top three adventures you’ve had in your life?
  • What are two things that you regret?
  • What was the hardest life lesson to learn?
  • What’s your favorite childhood memory?
  • What’s your dream job?
  • What do you consider your greatest success?
  • What’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever eaten?
  • What’s your greatest sexual fantasy?
  • What do you value in a relationship?
  • Where do you hope to be living in the next five years?
  • What was your first impression of me?
  • Who is your inspiration?
  • What’s your ideal work-life balance?
  • What’s the longest you’ve been in a relationship?

    When You’re Exclusive

    You ‘re officially a couple ! It ‘s clock to take on a solid new plant of questions, Skyler says. The follow can determine how aligned you are on your values and beliefs, which can predict whether your kinship will last, Skyler explains .

    • What are your feelings on sexual exclusivity and monogamy?
    • Where do you see yourself in one year, three years, ten years?
    • Do you believe in the institution of marriage?
    • Do you believe in living together before marriage?
    • At what age do you see yourself getting married?
    • What would your ideal wedding look like?
    • Do you want kids? Why or why not?
    • When would you want to have kids and how many would you have?
    • Do you want to live in this town where we are dating, or do you plan to move?
    • What are your favorite parts about my personality?
    • What are your favorite parts of your personality?
    • Do you like spending time with my friends?
    • What’s your favorite thing that we do together?
    • What’s one date we haven’t gone on yet that you want to try?
    • What’s something new that you’d like to try in bed together?

      When You’re Meeting The Parents

      so yea, you ‘ve dated, you ‘ve been exclusive for a while, and now you ‘ve finally met his family ( or you ‘re about to ). “ These questions address syndicate dynamics and help the relationship go to the future level of psychological edification, ” Skyler explains. Asking these Qs will help you understand your partner in terms of their perspectives on family, relationships, rear, and more .

      • What was your relationship to religion or spirituality growing up?
      • What’s your relationship to religion or spirituality right now?
      • What do your parents believe in today?
      • Are there any mental health issues or addiction struggles in your family?
      • How open are you with your parents?
      • What do your parents know about me already?
      • What do your siblings know about me already?
      • How close are you with your family members?
      • How often do you see your family?
      • What do your parents want for you in a partner?
      • How important is your parent’s approval to you?
      • What kind of relationship do you want me to have with your family?
      • How important are holidays and traditions to your family?
      • What kind of questions can I expect your family to ask me?
      • How welcoming has your family been with outsiders in the past?

        When You Live Together

        Moving in together ? then, this is for you. “ These questions help cohabitation go smoothly, ” says Skyler. “ There needs to be a blend of lives and at least a small store for the blend of money so that the couple starts to feel they are on the lapp team. ” Got it ? Great. now ask away .

        • What kind of place do you want to live in and why?
        • How would you prefer to decorate our home?
        • What tasks should we divide?
        • What is your preferred level of cleanliness?
        • What tasks should we each take to keep the home in good shape?
        • How do we want to divide finances?
        • How much money should we contribute to a joint fund?
        • How much money do we want to set aside for luxuries like date nights and travel?
        • What should our budget be when buying new furniture and decor for the home?
        • Do you have any pet peeves about living with others?
        • How will we prioritize spending time with friends?
        • What are your essential services and subscriptions?
        • Are there any kinds of specific chores that you hate or love doing?
        • Do you prefer that we do our grocery shopping together or separately?
        • Do you prefer that we eat meals at the same time and cook together?

          When You’re Getting Married

          Okay, therefore if you ‘re about to get marry ( or if you already are ), these questions will decidedly get you and your collaborator to go deeper with your affair and conversations.

          “ not everything needs to align, but there needs to be enough overlap to have a satisfy shared life, ” Skyler explains. And, yep, these relationship questions will tell you if you ‘re on the lapp page .

          • What does marriage mean to you?
          • How do you think being married will change our relationship?
          • Do marriage and having children coincide for you?
          • Why is it important to you that we get married on this date?
          • How much input are we going to let our parents have in wedding planning?
          • What’s the best wedding you’ve ever been to and why?
          • What would your ideal wedding budget be?
          • What’s your favorite movie or television wedding scene?
          • How long would you want to take to plan our wedding?
          • What do you picture us doing on our first wedding anniversary?
          • Do weddings excite you? Why or why not?
          • When did you know that you wanted to marry me?
          • What did you picture your wedding looking like when you were little?
          • What are your opinions on divorce?
          • If we could do anything, where do you see us being in 20 years?

            When You’re Ready For Kids

            Want to grow your family or already have some kiddos of your own ? Make certain you share the lapp vision for how those li’l ones will be loved and raised. “ One of the most crucial elements for long-run relationship achiever is having shared values and shared future dreams, ” Skyler says. Start by learning about what their expectations, dreams, and hopes are for children, and then get into some logistics .

            • Have you always envisioned yourself having kids?
            • What kind of parent do you think each of us would be?
            • Would you be open to adoption?
            • How do you think you would handle pregnancy and labor?
            • How do you think you would handle the adoption process?
            • How many children do you envision us having?
            • What are the values you’d like to instill in our children?
            • Which of your best characteristics do our children have?
            • Which of your worst characteristics do our children have?
            • Is being a parent what you expected it to be?
            • What do our children teach you or what do you expect to learn from them?
            • What kind of education did you envision our children having?
            • How would you prefer we handle telling our children about the world’s realities?
            • What was the most important lesson you learned as a child?
            • What was the best thing your parents ever taught you?

              When You’re Retiring

              “ We ‘re constantly changing and growing, ” says Skyler. That means there ‘s always more to learn, tied as you approach retirement .

                  • Where would you like to live during our retirement?
                  • What are we going to do with the money that we’ve saved?
                  • What are some of your favorite moments from our life together?
                  • What accomplishment are you most proud of?
                  • What accomplishment of mine are you most proud of?
                  • What has been your favorite memory with our children?
                  • What was the most fun vacation we’ve taken? Should we go back?
                  • If we could go anywhere, where would we go?
                  • How important is it for us to be near our other family members?
                  • What are you most looking forward to about being retired?

                    Madeline Howard
                    editorial adjunct
                    Madeline Howard is the column adjunct at Women ‘s Health .
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