That said, it can be hard to know the specific questions to ask. Like, should you ask them about their by ? How they ‘re feeling right now ? What they want for the future ? Yep. It can be reasonably damn confusing. ( And chilling ! ) That ‘s why I compiled a list of 100 ( yes, 100 ! ) expert-approved questions for *every individual stage* of your relationship. interest ? commodity. Keep read .
When You’re Dating
Odds are that things hush feel pretty modern. You ‘re credibly going on dates together, hanging out regularly, and talking on affair but you have n’t fully ~defined~ what you are even. “ These questions can offer a deeper look at each person ‘s interests and values to see if go steady makes sense, ” says Skyler. Basically, they ‘ll help you get a sense of whether you two are relationship corporeal. ( More : 200 Questions To Ask To Get To Know Someone Better )
- What are three things on your bucket list?
- What are the top three adventures you’ve had in your life?
- What are two things that you regret?
- What was the hardest life lesson to learn?
- What’s your favorite childhood memory?
- What’s your dream job?
- What do you consider your greatest success?
- What’s the most incredible thing you’ve ever eaten?
- What’s your greatest sexual fantasy?
- What do you value in a relationship?
- Where do you hope to be living in the next five years?
- What was your first impression of me?
- Who is your inspiration?
- What’s your ideal work-life balance?
- What’s the longest you’ve been in a relationship?
When You’re Exclusive
You ‘re officially a couple ! It ‘s clock to take on a solid new plant of questions, Skyler says. The follow can determine how aligned you are on your values and beliefs, which can predict whether your kinship will last, Skyler explains .
- What are your feelings on sexual exclusivity and monogamy?
- Where do you see yourself in one year, three years, ten years?
- Do you believe in the institution of marriage?
- Do you believe in living together before marriage?
- At what age do you see yourself getting married?
- What would your ideal wedding look like?
- Do you want kids? Why or why not?
- When would you want to have kids and how many would you have?
- Do you want to live in this town where we are dating, or do you plan to move?
- What are your favorite parts about my personality?
- What are your favorite parts of your personality?
- Do you like spending time with my friends?
- What’s your favorite thing that we do together?
- What’s one date we haven’t gone on yet that you want to try?
- What’s something new that you’d like to try in bed together?
When You’re Meeting The Parents
so yea, you ‘ve dated, you ‘ve been exclusive for a while, and now you ‘ve finally met his family ( or you ‘re about to ). “ These questions address syndicate dynamics and help the relationship go to the future level of psychological edification, ” Skyler explains. Asking these Qs will help you understand your partner in terms of their perspectives on family, relationships, rear, and more .
- What was your relationship to religion or spirituality growing up?
- What’s your relationship to religion or spirituality right now?
- What do your parents believe in today?
- Are there any mental health issues or addiction struggles in your family?
- How open are you with your parents?
- What do your parents know about me already?
- What do your siblings know about me already?
- How close are you with your family members?
- How often do you see your family?
- What do your parents want for you in a partner?
- How important is your parent’s approval to you?
- What kind of relationship do you want me to have with your family?
- How important are holidays and traditions to your family?
- What kind of questions can I expect your family to ask me?
- How welcoming has your family been with outsiders in the past?
When You Live Together
Moving in together ? then, this is for you. “ These questions help cohabitation go smoothly, ” says Skyler. “ There needs to be a blend of lives and at least a small store for the blend of money so that the couple starts to feel they are on the lapp team. ” Got it ? Great. now ask away .
- What kind of place do you want to live in and why?
- How would you prefer to decorate our home?
- What tasks should we divide?
- What is your preferred level of cleanliness?
- What tasks should we each take to keep the home in good shape?
- How do we want to divide finances?
- How much money should we contribute to a joint fund?
- How much money do we want to set aside for luxuries like date nights and travel?
- What should our budget be when buying new furniture and decor for the home?
- Do you have any pet peeves about living with others?
- How will we prioritize spending time with friends?
- What are your essential services and subscriptions?
- Are there any kinds of specific chores that you hate or love doing?
- Do you prefer that we do our grocery shopping together or separately?
- Do you prefer that we eat meals at the same time and cook together?
When You’re Getting Married
Okay, therefore if you ‘re about to get marry ( or if you already are ), these questions will decidedly get you and your collaborator to go deeper with your affair and conversations.
Read more: 21 Actually Mind-Blowing Anal Sex Positions
“ not everything needs to align, but there needs to be enough overlap to have a satisfy shared life, ” Skyler explains. And, yep, these relationship questions will tell you if you ‘re on the lapp page .
- What does marriage mean to you?
- How do you think being married will change our relationship?
- Do marriage and having children coincide for you?
- Why is it important to you that we get married on this date?
- How much input are we going to let our parents have in wedding planning?
- What’s the best wedding you’ve ever been to and why?
- What would your ideal wedding budget be?
- What’s your favorite movie or television wedding scene?
- How long would you want to take to plan our wedding?
- What do you picture us doing on our first wedding anniversary?
- Do weddings excite you? Why or why not?
- When did you know that you wanted to marry me?
- What did you picture your wedding looking like when you were little?
- What are your opinions on divorce?
- If we could do anything, where do you see us being in 20 years?
When You’re Ready For Kids
Want to grow your family or already have some kiddos of your own ? Make certain you share the lapp vision for how those li’l ones will be loved and raised. “ One of the most crucial elements for long-run relationship achiever is having shared values and shared future dreams, ” Skyler says. Start by learning about what their expectations, dreams, and hopes are for children, and then get into some logistics .
- Have you always envisioned yourself having kids?
- What kind of parent do you think each of us would be?
- Would you be open to adoption?
- How do you think you would handle pregnancy and labor?
- How do you think you would handle the adoption process?
- How many children do you envision us having?
- What are the values you’d like to instill in our children?
- Which of your best characteristics do our children have?
- Which of your worst characteristics do our children have?
- Is being a parent what you expected it to be?
- What do our children teach you or what do you expect to learn from them?
- What kind of education did you envision our children having?
- How would you prefer we handle telling our children about the world’s realities?
- What was the most important lesson you learned as a child?
- What was the best thing your parents ever taught you?
When You’re Retiring
“ We ‘re constantly changing and growing, ” says Skyler. That means there ‘s always more to learn, tied as you approach retirement .
- Where would you like to live during our retirement?
- What are we going to do with the money that we’ve saved?
- What are some of your favorite moments from our life together?
- What accomplishment are you most proud of?
- What accomplishment of mine are you most proud of?
- What has been your favorite memory with our children?
- What was the most fun vacation we’ve taken? Should we go back?
- If we could go anywhere, where would we go?
- How important is it for us to be near our other family members?
- What are you most looking forward to about being retired?
Madeline Howard is the column adjunct at Women ‘s Health .
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