There’s No Such Thing as ‘Too Wet,’ and It Shouldn’t Be a Turn-Off

person recently doused in water, smiling and dripping wet share on PinterestPeopleImages/Getty Images

What’s the short answer?

Can pigs fly ? Can mules give parentage ? Can you get blood from a stone ? “ Can a vagina get excessively wet during sex ? ” is just as absurd a wonder, desirable of being added to the list of Idioms of Improbability.

So, you can’t get ‘too wet’ during sex?

N-O-P-E ! “ A vagina owner being ‘ besides besotted ’ during sex international relations and security network ’ t a aesculapian diagnosis, ” says Dr. Lyndsey Harper, OB-GYN, fall through and CEO of Rosy, a sexual health platform. On the contrary, vaginal wetness is extremely crucial for enjoyable, nonpainful play, she says. It is, however, potential for the vagina to produce excessively much fluid ( i, vaginal fire ) in asexual settings, but we ’ ll receive to that under.

Is wetness important?

“ Vaginal wetness is key for enjoyable, penetrative sexual encounters, ” says Caitlin V., MPH, clinical sexologist for Royal, a vegan-friendly condom and lubricant party. “ It provides the lubrication for consistency parts — whether that ’ second penis, vagina, mouth, hand or anus — to rub against each other in a enjoyable means, ” Caitlin V. explains. Without wetness, the rubbing can irritate and even cause small microtears in the delicate vaginal tissues, which increases the gamble of infection, she says. That ’ south why Heather Jeffcoat, a sophisticate of physical therapy who specializes in intimate dysfunction and dissoluteness, and writer of “ Sex Without Pain : A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve, ” says, “ Whether it ’ south boughten or body-made, you can never have excessively a lot lubricate on board. ”

Lubricant ≠ arousal Although lifelike lubricant often accompanies arousal, natural lubricant can occur in the absence of arousal, says Jeffcoat.

Likewise, a person can be aroused even if they aren ’ thyroxine wet. ( This is known as arousal non-concordance. ) sol, the alone way to know for sure if person is aroused is to ask them .

What affects how wet you get? 

so ! many ! Things ! admit :

  • hydration levels
  • presence of alcohol or drugs in the body
  • physical activity level
  • prescription medications
  • phase of menstrual cycle
  • whether or not you’ve reached menopause
  • stress levels

“ One person ’ s feel with wetness changes greatly throughout the day, month, and over their animation bridge, ” Caitlin V. says .

Why would someone be turned off by a lot of wetness?

To be blunt : There’s no good reason for person to be turned off by vaginal wetness. If person is turned off by a degree of wetness, it ’ south because they don ’ triiodothyronine understand how the body works. In other words, it comes from an uneducated place. note : This international relations and security network ’ t a symptom of your spouse ’ s personal failings. It ’ s a reflection of their miss of adequate sex education growing up.

What should you do if your partner says something about it?

First things first, blue you ’ re dealing with this ! Being with person who makes you feel bad about your body stinks… big time. And honestly, that ’ second reason enough to dump them .

so, depending on the tone and speech your collaborator used to express their curiosity about your wetness, “ Cya never ! ” may be your reaction .

You might say :

  • “You may not understand how vaginal wetness works, but I have a personal rule against dating someone who makes me feel badly about my body.”
  • “I don’t appreciate the shamey language you used to talk about a normal bodily reaction. I’m no longer interested in moving forward in this relationship.”

If, however, your partner addresses the subject from a identify of caring curio, you may choose to educate them .

Caring curiosity could look like :

  • “I’ve never been with anyone who gets as wet as you do. Do you mind if I ask: Is this normal for you?”
  • “You’ve been wetter the last few times we’ve had sex than you usually are. Do you know why that might be?”

hera ’ s how you might respond :

  • “Usually, when I’m turned the heck on, blood rushes to my vagina, which causes the vagina to produce natural lubrication. So that if/when we have sex, it’ll be pleasurable for me. I get wet in preparation to be filled by you.”
  • “The wetness is a normal response to being turned on. If I didn’t naturally self-lubricate, the sex we like to have wouldn’t feel as good for me because there would be too much friction.”

What if they keep bringing it up?

up to you, sweetie ! If you ’ ve got the energy to educate your collaborator, you can try one more fourth dimension. As Harper says, “ This could be an opportunity to have an open and judgement-free conversation about sexual activity, which could lead to highly fulfilling sex. ” You might text them a radio link to this article with the bill, “ You made a comment about how wet I was survive time we had sex. So I ’ meter air you this article about why that happens. ” Another option is to purchase one of the books below and leave it on their pillow :

  • “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski
  • “Girl Sex 101: A Queer Pleasure Guide for Women and Their Partners” written by Allison Moon and illustrated by KD Diamond
  • “Mind the Gap” by Karen Gurney

But again, dumping them is a wholly fair move .

Generally speaking, is it ever possible to have too much discharge?

“ When it happens outside of arousal, excessively much wetness can be a symptom of an infection, ” Caitlin V. says. In these instances, the wetness international relations and security network ’ t the same biochemical constitution as the lifelike lubricant produced in reply to foreplay and is known as fire, she says. “ Vaginal discharge is the body ’ randomness room of keeping the vagina and vulva in tip-top work order, ” Harper says. “ And there are different types, most of which are wholly convention and good. ” But some can be a augury of something else .

How do you know if you should be concerned?

You probably know the olfactory property, color, and overall look of your common, casual dismissal. ( And if you ’ re learn this and don ’ thymine, start making a bespeak to peek in your panties at the goal of the day. ) “ If your discharge has newly characteristics, such as a fishy smell, green or yellow tint, or is accompanied by itching or burn, you should head to a healthcare provider to get it looked at, ” Harper says. “ If it ’ s an infection, normally your repair will be able to prescribe an antibiotic that cursorily treats [ it ], ” she says .

The bottom line

It isn ’ metric ton possible to be besides wet during sex. however, if you notice a variety in the smell, color, consistency, or taste of your discharge, reach out to a healthcare provider. It could be a sign of infection.

Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based arouse and health writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She ’ s become a good morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eat, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her barren time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dance. Follow her on Instagram .

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *