Everything You Need to Know About Giving a Great Hand Job

cropped view of a person's hand holding a light blue paper cone filled with knitted green and pink contribution on Pinterest Hand jobs might have a reputation as “ adolescent sex, ” but with ampere much joy likely as any early kind of playing period — yes, including penetrative vaginal and anal arouse ! — HJs deserve a place in your adult playtime, besides. Scroll depressed for a, um, handy steer to making handwriting jobs a character of your arouse animation.

What to expect

In case you didn ’ thymine know : Penises are about deoxyadenosine monophosphate varied as the penis havers themselves .

Penises vary in color, shape, and size

Penises featured in pornography may all have the lapp vibration, but IRL all penises are different ! “ Some penises are circumcised, some are not. Some may curve to one side, and others may not tilt, ” says trauma-informed arouse educator Cassandra Corrado. “ Some are girthy and some are slender. Some are shorter, while others are long. ”

So does pubic hair

Pubes are like lawns. Everyone ’ mho, emergency room, grass might have a slenderly unlike color and texture, and everyone landscapes a little differently, or not at all. Some folks have no pot at all, others have their initials mowed into the pot, and some let the grass grow and grow .

Most penises have a smell

good news : You don ’ t have to buy a “ This Smells Like My Penis ” candle ( yes, that is something you can purchase ) to know your partner ’ s penis won ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate smell like nothing. “ Just as a metrical foot or armpit has an olfactory property, thus does a penis, ” says Sarah Melancon, PhD, sociologist and clinical sexologist with The Sex Toy Collective. It might smell :

  • salty
  • musky
  • earthy
  • sour

Two scents to take notice of ? Both moldy and decayed odors can indicate an infection, so you may want to push hesitate and consider getting checked out .

And if you take things further… know there’s a taste, too

question meter : Whose genitals taste like apple pie ? cipher ’ randomness ! normally, cocks taste salty, umami, or earthy flavored. “ taste can be minorly affected by the diet person keeps, but it ’ s more much affected by the hygiene practices that person maintains, ” notes Corrado. so, long as your boo showers regularly it should taste A-OK.

Techniques to try

Below, you ’ ll find a few general tips. just remember : “ All penises can experience different pleasure from techniques, so it ’ s significant to check in with the person receiving the hand job, ” says Luna Matatas, sex, torso, confidence, and kink educator and creator of Peg The Patriarchy..

Set the pace

Slow and regular “ wins ” the race pass speculate — at least to start things off. Begin with light coerce and slow ( ish ) strokes, and ramp up the volume at your collaborator ’ mho pleas .

Pay attention to their body language

Cue Shakira because hips ( and eyes ) don ’ triiodothyronine lie. Is your spouse backing their hips away from your handle ? Odds are you ’ re going besides fast or tight. Is your partner thrusting into your hand ? Odds are they ’ re very close…

Lock eyes

Or at least, maintain eye contact if you want to feel machine-accessible AF to your partner. Matatas notes center contact can feel even steamier when the giver and receiver are at unlike heights ( i, the giver is kneeling while the recipient stands ) .

Add lube

Our recommendation ? Skip the spit. certain, it ’ sulfur barren and well accessible, but lube > spit. “ Lube helps reduce unpleasurable friction and likely peel excitation, ” says Corrado. pro topple : Grabbing the lubricant before you get started and keeping it close at hand means you won ’ thymine have to interrupt the moment .

Use both hands

“ Two hands can help you deviate persuasiveness and rush, and it can be a way to change things up, ” says Matatas. You might try wrapping your well-lubed hands around their penis and interlocking your fingers and thumbs, creating a container to stroke the penis through, she says. Or, “ Use the fist and twist proficiency but with both hands stacked on top of one another, ” adds Matatas. “ Play with twisting them in a down motion on the penis. ” You could besides keep one hand on their shaft and use your other hand to :

  • pull or stroke their hair
  • tease their nipples
  • consensually choke them
  • touch yourself

Stray from the shaft

The perineum ( the bandage of skin between the balls and anus ), tramp cheek, anus, balls, inner thighs, and pubic mound are besides boldness dense. “ If your collaborator likes their balls played with, use one hand to cup or stimulate their testicles and the other hand can continue to stroke, ” suggests Matatas .

Switch things up

There are so many different ways to touch a penis. Why stick to good one ? Matatas suggests three techniques to try :

  • Fist and twist. Wrap your index finger and thumb around the base of the penis. Create a fist with your other hand, and stroke in twisting motions up and down.
  • Half swirl. Grasp the penis with one hand, and use your other hand to make swirling motions over the head.
  • Bouncing octopus. Approach the head of the penis with a flat palm and allow your fingers to drape down onto the shaft. Drag your fingers up with pressure, as if they are tentacles grazing the shaft.

Maybe add toys

You might have your partner wear a vibrating cock ring while you stroke, says Corrado. And either of you could wear a butt plug or nipple clamps .

Focus on pleasure, not orgasm

“ sometimes — particularly with penis owners — we get so focused on getting to orgasm that we miss the opportunities to notice our partner, to ride their waves of joy, and to find our own pleasure in giving, ” says Matatas. “ Slow things down, encourage communication, and show your exuberance for giving joy. ”

What happens next?

The hand job can be the main event. Or, it can mark the foremost stop on an nightlong ride .

How do I know if I should keep going?

If they ’ rhenium wiggly or moaning like an ( orgasmic ) animal, they probs don ’ triiodothyronine want you to stop. Keep doing what you ’ re doing. A flying “ How does this feel ? ” or “ Do you want me to keep going ? ” will clear up any confusion .

What about me!?

There are enough of ways to get yours while giving a hand job ! You could :

  • Try a wearable sex toy like the b-vibe Rimming Plug or the We Vibe Moxie, both available online.
  • Hump the mattress or your partner’s thigh.
  • Ask your partner to stimulate you at the same time.
  • Use your other hand on yourself.
  • Invite your partner to touch you when the hand job is done.

They’re about to come… What do I do?

Keep going. You can either let them finish in your hand, ask them to finish themselves in their own hand, or grab a rag and use that to catch the semen. You could besides let them finish in your mouthpiece .

OK, they finished… Now what?

A little post-handy compliment goes a long way. Let your collaborator know how hot it was to watch them enjoy themselves. adjacent, clean up. then, if you want to be touched, let ’ em know !

Frequently asked questions about hand jobs

Have some pressing Qs before you get some, hem, hands-on know ? We ’ ve got answers .

What do I do if there’s foreskin?

Foreskin = a thinly assemble of skin that covers the head of the penis. sometimes, a baby ’ s parents decide to remove that roll — aka circumcise them. If that skin is left integral, it can be retracted down the infrastructure of the penis, exposing the mushroom-like, oh-so-sensitive penis lead below. “ Some people will enjoy having their prepuce used as separate of the hand job to add a layer of texture, affectionateness, and wetness, ” says Matatas. early people might have a tighter prepuce, and it could be afflictive to try to retract their prepuce intentionally during a hand job. To find out what your spouse likes, ask !

How hard is too hard of a grip?

broadly, you want to start free and increase grip as you go ( up to a luff, of naturally ). But every penis owner prefers something different. so, grip your collaborator ’ second cock, then necessitate :

  • “Why don’t you put your hand over mine and show me how tight you like it?”
  • “Tell me when you like the tightness of my grip.”

What do I do if my hand(s) gets tired?

sex is supposed to be enjoyable for all partners. If finger tire is interfering with your pleasure, transition to another bodily process. You might say :

  • “Babe, I’m loving touching you, but my hand is getting tired. How would you feel about stroking yourself while I kiss your neck?”
  • “How would you feel about me going down on you now?”
  • “I think it could be really hot to watch you use a stroker on yourself.”

What if I run out of spit?

“ Spit can be sexy, but it dries up pretty quickly and robs you of the slippery texture that makes stroking feel sol good, ” says Matatas. The solution ? Use lubricate and be generous with it. pro topple : Silicone- or oil-based lubes survive longer than water-based lubricant. But oil degrades latex paint, thus if you might have penetrative sexual intercourse after, pin to a silicone-based lubricate like ÜberLube .

Why is my partner so quiet? Am I doing OK?

Moans aren ’ t the only direction to communicate how things feel. Changes in breath, body lyric, and facial expression can besides offer some key clues. Of course, if you ’ re not certain whether they ’ ra enjoying themselves, there ’ south one adept direction to find out how you ’ rhenium doing : Just ask ! “ Ask bare questions like ‘ soft or heavily ? ’ or ‘ faster or slower ? ’ ” suggests Matatas .

What if there’s pre-cum?

Pre-cum = pre-ejaculate that can dribble out of the tip of the penis anywhere from seconds to minutes before ejaculation. If your partner releases pre-cum, that ’ s wholly healthy and normal ! Keep going ( unless they ask you to stop, of course ) .

How to make your move

Keep recitation to learn how to go from wanting to give an HJ to actually doing it .

Getting things going

Don ’ t go from “ hello ” to pass job. Build arousal with :

  • kissing
  • massage
  • dancing
  • humping and grinding
  • nipple stimulation

Finding a good position

different muscles may bear more strain in different positions. “ Your hip and ab muscles will be more trip if you ’ re range, ” explains Corrado. “ Your shoulder muscles may feel constrained if you ’ rhenium lying on your side, and each stead may put different amounts of strain on your forearms, ” says Corrado. “ Do what ’ s most comfortable for you and your spouse. ”

Heating things up

No need to strip your boo to their birthday suit from the beginning. Tease them over their clothes by tracing the seam, outlining their penis through the fabric, or cupping your hand over their dress cock and letting them grind into it. When you ’ re ready ( and sense they ’ re fix ) for more, ask : “ Can I take these off ? ”

The bottom line

sexual activeness doesn ’ thymine have to involve penetration to be hearty, and hand sexual activity international relations and security network ’ t precisely adolescent fodder. Hand jobs offer a lower-risk room to closely connect with your partner without penetration. You might choose to stop after the hand job, or possibly you favor them as aphrodisiac foreplay. Either way, your touch can silent bring pleasure to your penis-owning collaborator ( and you ), no matter your historic period.

Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and health writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She ’ south become a dawn person, tested over 200 vibrators, and consume, intoxicated, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free clock time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dance. Follow her on Instagram .

reference : https://www.bestofcalgary.city
Category : Sex Tips

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