What’s The 69 Sex Position? 9 Sex Tips And Positions For 69ing

Something about the term 69 brings back memories of that health class in middle school or a group of teenagers giggling over “ 80085 ” punched into a calculator. ( ICYMI, it spells breast. ) And the truth is, the placement does have a rep for being awkward on many levels. ( I put my what down where ? ) And given the fact that it ’ s a act where your assorted holes are left peculiarly vulnerable ( your spouse ’ mho eyes, mouth, and nose are all up in them ), it ’ s apprehensible that 69-ing can be nerve-inducing for some. “ Some people love 69ing because there ’ s an opportunity to give and receive oral sex at the same prison term, ” says Luna Matatas, sex educator, and godhead of Peg The Patriarchy. “ This double stimulation can feel incredible or it can feel consuming. ” If you ‘re reading this narrative, however, there ‘s a good probability your thoughts fall into the latter category. I mean, hitting your own O is difficult adequate when it ‘s merely your partner going down on you—but when you have to take care of them simultaneously ? Woof. inactive, it ‘s not a wholly lost cause. “ With kind communication and an loose and curious attitude, you can enjoy 69, ” says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist in Honolulu, Hawaii. “ The most crucial thing is to communicate with your partner on how you prefer to be pleasured, and have a good time experimenting with different styles. ” Need a little act of divine guidance before you dive in ? here ‘s how to 69 and actually make it sexy, according to experts.

So, what are the basics?

69 sex position How to 69: Have your partner lie down, flat on their back. then climb on peak, so you ‘re facing aside from your partner. Your genitals should be lined up with your partner ‘s mouth, and their genitals should be lined up with yours. alternatively, try it in a side-by-side position .

Now, how do you make the position even hotter?

1. Don’t take it too seriously.

      The flim-flam to 69ing like a pro is to have fun with it, says board-certified sexologist Debra Laino. Keep it relax and animal. For example, have your partner lie on the bed so that their head is hanging slightly over the edge. Stand on the shock over them, and as you kiss and massage their upper half, lento crawl your way down their body until you ‘re both in status .

      2. Get handsy.

      Do n’t forget : There ‘s plenty more body to explore as you ‘re going down on each other, says Carol Queen, PhD, staff sexologist for. not merely can your hands pleasure the other hot spots surrounding their chthonian regions ( like their inner thighs and hips ), but they can besides be put to good habit when your mouth needs a breath .

      3. Turn it into a sensual experience.

      Sensate focus exercises, which require couples to focus on the sensation of being touched, are often used to help people reconnect in the bedroom, says Nan Wise, PhD, a accredited psychotherapist and certified sexual activity therapist, and author of the extroverted Why well sex Matters. The effect : By focusing on how it feels to be touched in certain ways, the pair has a better understand of what turns them on, ultimately leading to better sex. Put the concept to use during 69 by focusing profoundly on what it feels like to touch and be touched, says Wise. Take a moment to trace your collaborator ‘s spine, or the bend of their butt, rather of merely going after it. ➡ Join Women’s Health+ today and get unlimited access to digital content, exclusive workouts, and more!

      4. Bust out a vibrator.

      “ Giving cunnilingus in this position can be awkward, ” says Ian Kerner, PhD, writer of and, no topic how many pillows are involved. Keep a small vibrator handy or tell your spouse to stimulate the vulva in addition to tongue action, he suggests. Matatas says inner sex toys could besides maximize pleasure for two vulva-owning partners. “ And if you ‘re multi-orgasmic, it ‘s o to take breaks, slow things down, or provide a different cycle of stimulation to adjust to your partner ‘s post-orgasmic sensitivity, ” she says .

      5. Or a dildo.

      A dildo can besides work wonders, Matatas says. “ Using dildo or internal vibrators can provide a kind of penetrative pleasure that fingers or tongues can ’ thyroxine give in 69. ” It can besides help if you or your spouse are feeling a small tire ! This contented is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the same message in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their vane site .

      6. Take breaks.

      Yes, it can be hard to focus on your own orgasm as you ‘re trying to pleasure your spouse. If the distraction is seriously interfering with your O game, feel unblock to take some breaks hera and there. Think : intervals, not a marathon !

      7. Go ahead and take sides.

      If you ‘re planning to make the 69 situation your chief event, the most comfortable way to do so would be for both of you to lie on your side, says Laino. You wo n’t have to worry about muscle form or limb landing where they should n’t, and you can use each other ‘s thighs as a pillow ( a thillow, if you will ) to keep neck pain to a minimum. Win-win .

      8. Switch it up, orally.

      Do n’t get stuck in a rut with your oral sex skills, says Laino. In this context, go-to moves are not your friend. Go slow, go fast, go in circles, go in long strokes, change up the press and suction—try and create a alone experience every time. besides significant ? Having fun with it, Wise says : “ The hottest oral sex is when the giving partner is in truth enjoying the sensations from it themselves. ”

      9. Reduce the (figurative) pressure.

      “ Orgasm doesn ’ thyroxine want to be the goal of 69, ” Matatas says. “ Taking the blackmail off of it allows the status to be fun and playful. It might be a placement that you warm up in and move to another place for orgasm. ” Hot !

      10. Try incorporating lube

      physical limitations can much become an issue when you ’ re lease in an at-times crafty position like 69, Brito says. This includes aspects of 69-ing such as, well, your ability to produce adequate saliva to lubricate your spouse ’ south genitals. If you ’ ve been going at it for a while, you might find yourself having a harder time keeping the sphere wet on your own. That ’ s why you should try keeping a flavored lubricant nearby, Brito recommends, which can keep the pleasure flowing and reduces irritating friction caused by a dry surface .

      11. Wear sexy clothes with easy access

      One of the easiest ways to make an inner meet a little hot when you ’ re palpate shy is by pulling out all the stops with your kit. “ wear clothes that make you feel sexy and alive, ” Brito says, which could be anything from a lingerie outfit to your satiny, comfiest PJs. “ besides, clothing items that have easy access are fun, excessively, ” Brito adds. so if you can find a li’l something with an first step around your genitals for seamless 69 access, that could be a major succeed for upping your bet on. ( Psst … you can check out these best plus-size lingerie brands if you need some inspo. )
      Caroline Shannon-Karasik
      Caroline Shannon-Karasik is a writer and mental health advocate based in Pittsburgh, PA. Madeline Howard
      editorial adjunct
      Madeline Howard is the column assistant at Women ‘s Health .
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