How Do Lesbians Have Sex?

Most of us learn about sex through a heterosexual lens, one that revolves around a penis entering a vagina. If you ‘ve always wondered how lesbians have sex, the first thing you need to do is throw any preconceive notions out the window. “ What club makes up about lesbian sex is rarely how it ‘s actualized, ” Shelby Sells, certified sex and life coach and resident sexual activity technical at WOO More Play, tells Health. Basically, lesbian sex does n’t actually differ all that much from arouse between two heterosexual people—at least not in the ways that count.

“Lesbian sex” is kind of a misnomer

It ‘s crucial to understand that lesbian sex does n’t necessarily happen between two cisgender women who identify as lesbians. In fact, “ lesbian sex ” is considered by some to be an outdated term for arouse between two female-identified people, which could be two cis-women, one cis-woman and one trans woman, or two trans women. “ All of this ( and more ) is ‘lesbian ‘ sex, ” certified sex coach, sexologist, and SKYN sex and familiarity expert Gigi Engle tells Health. “ There is gray area hera and a draw of consider is even in blend around these issues. ” still, she acknowledges that there ‘s an argumentation to be made that lesbian sex is entirely lesbian sexual activity if it ‘s between two people who consider themselves lesbians. Sells adds that sex and sex exist on a spectrum, and what is most crucial is the intention behind the intimate connection, not the gender or sex you were assigned at parturition. “ It is potential to identify as a charwoman and not have a vagina, ” she says. “ Our genitalia does not define or confine us to our identities. sex between two women, womxn, or femmes can look a kind of different ways. ”

Myths about lesbian sex

many people view lesbian arouse the manner it ‘s been manufactured by the mainstream pornography industry. “ I feel that most lesbian sex has been marketed and consumed through the lens of the male gaze, which ends up looking like two women scissoring [ when a womanhood rubs her vulva against another woman ‘s consistency for sexual stimulation ], ” Sells says. Yes, some people enjoy this, but others do n’t get any pleasure from it. “ Another myth is that there are constantly ‘feminine ‘ and ‘masculine ‘ sex roles in a lesbian kinship ( i.e. a butch and a femme ), ” Sells says. Some people believe that one person has to take the function of “ the man ” in sexual activity, doing all the penetration while the early person receives. Again, this is the predilection for some couples, but decidedly not all of them.

Some people besides dismiss lesbian sex as not “ real ” arouse because they do n’t think penetration is possible. First of all, penetration is not required for sex to be “ real, ” whatever that means. Second, sex between two women can surely involve vaginal and/or anal penetration : with fingers, tongues, vibrators, and other types of sex toys, like a strap-on.

So what are some ways lesbians do have sex?

Of course, everyone prefers a different type of touch and foreplay, and lesbian sex encompasses an enormous range of possibilities. Some partners enjoy deep snog and caressing, others pleasure each other via oral sex using tongues, mouths, and lips. Again, lesbian sex can be about penetration. other things that may be separate of lesbian arouse include feel, clitoral play, anal bring, fisting, breast and nipple play, using sex toys, and genital rubbing. Some people experiment with bondage and domination vitamin a well as positions that require a lot of tractability, such as scissoring or 69. lesbian sex can be rough and fast-paced or slowly and voiced. There ‘s a huge assortment of styles and moves, and every pair can do it and define it in any way they want .

What are some tips for having lesbian sex?

The best tip is to ask your partner what feels good for them. “ If they are n’t certain, ask if they ‘re capable to exploring pleasure mapping with you, ” Sells suggests. ( This is when you spend time exploring the “ pleasure spots ” of both your bodies to find out where—and how—you like to be touched. ) “ It ‘s better to communicate than to assume, ” she says. “ One proficiency does not fit all ! ” But when in doubt, the clitoris is the center of everything. “ The clitoris is the kernel of the female orgasm, ” Engle explains. “ The huge majority of female orgasms are clitoris-based in some manner. The external clitoral glans—that little nubbin you see at the top of the labia—has more than 8,000 steel endings. ” Remember that people find pleasure in unlike ways ( and places ! ), then try to keep an loose take care. “ Creating an environment that is safe and comfortable allows then a lot space for intimate exploration and possibility, ” Sells says.

Consent is crucial

This goes for any foremost sexual experience, whatever body parts are—or aren’t—involved. “ embody certain to ask for consent before you touch, solve, stick, skewer, morsel, or fellate on anything, ” Sells says. This ticks another significant box. “ Communication is key and it ‘s besides identical aphrodisiac, ” she adds. so take the time to ask your intimate partner what feels beneficial for them, and show them what feels good for you.

Are there any dangers to lesbian sex?

The one risk to know about is the same risk that affects arouse between heterosexual partners as well : STIs. lesbian sex can transmit STIs either though skin-on-skin contact ( HPV, herpes ) or by sharing body fluids ( chlamydia and gonorrhea, among others ), even if there ‘s no penis in the picture. Because HPV is possible, it ‘s significant to get regular Pap tests and/or the HPV vaccine to protect against cervical cancer, which is caused by HPV.

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Category : Sex Tips

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