Here’s What Guys Really Think About Going Down on You

In this workweek ‘s sexual activity Talk Realness, Cosmopolitan.com speaks to four anonymous men about what it ‘s truly like going down on a woman .
How old are you?
Man A: Twenty-three.
Man B: Twenty-six.
Man C: Thirty.
Man D: Forty-two .
How often do you go down on women? Is it voluntary or do they usually ask?
Man A: I go devour on my girlfriend regularly. We do n’t do that every meter we have sex, but I ‘d say a pair times a workweek on average. I do n’t need to be asked because it gets me turned on to do it, but sometimes she ‘ll put in a extra request for it if she ‘s particularly in the mood.
Man B: I have been with my stream girlfriend for two years ; it ‘s one of my favorite parts of foreplay/sex. I go down on her pretty much every prison term we have sex. If I ‘m with person that does n’t ask, then I normally do ( enthusiastic consent FTW ! ). I ‘m shock that the numeral of women who have said no is greater than zero. I do n’t think any guy has ever turned down a blow occupation.
Man C: a often as I can. It ‘s something I love doing. It can both be voluntary and they can ask angstrom well. It ‘s used a batch when a little bondage is in bid. Both ways, if I have her tied up and vice versa. She can demand a certain count of orgasms or I can tease for a retentive time, stopping just before she comes.
Man D: I ‘m in a brace relationship, and I ‘d say about once a workweek. It ‘s always been volunteer, although I would n’t be offended if a charwoman asked. Women should n’t feel abashed to ask .
Have you ever gotten feedback from a woman you went down on? Were you offended or motivated?
Man A: The positive feedback has ranged from song ( “ That was incredible ! ” ) to non-vocal, like thighs spasming with pleasure and gratified groan and then forth. I have n’t gotten negative then much as constructive feedback from women I ‘ve gone down on — if I was going in besides hard she might tell me to slow down, or if she wants me to shift my focus, she might guide my forefront in that direction. I find that more motivative because it helps me get on a better track.
Man B: Yes, specially when I was starting out, I asked for feedback to find out what worked and what did n’t. It makes me motivated, never offended. It ‘s nothing personal, it ‘s just what they like.
Man C: I have gotten feedback, both estimable and bad. negative feedback is normally along the lines of, “ Do n’t lick sol intemperate, kiss it there, use your fingers. ” It never made me feel bad. The whole indicate is to make her feel good. So I never had a problem being directed or told to do it a different way. After that, I normally think, “ OK, let ‘s put those tips to good use. ” I have done something alike at times when she has been going down on me.
Man D: Most of the women I ‘ve gone gloomy on have been good at saying what they liked and did n’t like. A few partners felt like they were being pressured into having an orgasm because I was being quite dogged, but it ‘s hard for a guy to know with a modern collaborator how much stimulation a women needs and how much is besides a lot, or if it ‘s fair not going to happen. I would n’t be upset if person ruffled my hair and asked me to stop.

Do you mostly use it as foreplay?
Man A: It ‘s constantly a great way to start things off, getting her down on the bed and pulling her clothes off and sticking my face down in there. sometimes if I ‘m very arouse and feel like I might come soon, I ‘ll do a lot of clitoris sucking to get her all aroused, trying to keep us on the same pace. It ‘s besides a great interlude between different sex positions, whether I need to catch my hint or good want to throw in a decent surprise before moving to a different setup. And sometimes she ‘ll wake me up by sitting on my face and we jump into it that way. That gives her see of the pace and lets her kind of grind up against my beard, so it ‘s got a unlike vibration.
Man B: It ‘s by and large a separate of foreplay.
Man C: It is normally part of sex, but I do love it when the girlfriend I ‘m with comes out of the shower with her towel around her. It ‘s a very aphrodisiac sight. And I start kissing her neck. I would go down on her then. After that, I follow her moderate. If she wants more, fantastic. If not, I ‘m happy with that.
Man D: It can vary a fortune. Sometimes it ‘ll be depart of foreplay and a quite nice way to help my collaborator get actually turned on in a different manner from touching. other times, it ‘ll be toward the end of sex, as a different way of helping her culminate, as it ‘s something that makes her come deep and long. occasionally, it ‘s a utilitarian way to take a ( forcible ) fail from sex, without losing the climate, although I tend to feel that once you ‘ve started to give oral sexual activity, you ought to give your spouse the prospect to reach a climax if they want to .
What do you like best about giving oral?
Man A: I like how happy it makes her. I ‘m besides proud of how my skill in it has grown — she ‘d been with a lot of guys before me but says I ‘m hands down the best at going down on her. And actually it sounds like a distribute of guys would give icky excuses to not do cunnilingus, like, “ No, it smells down there, ” or, “ No, it ‘s dirty, ” even when they expected blow jobs. so I like trying to nudge the universe just a piece toward oral sex parity in the small way that I can.
Man B: The measure of pleasure I ‘m able to give my partner and the master I have in teasing her.
Man C: Just making her feel that good. When she is writhing and groan, then coming against me, knowing that I ‘m making her feel like that is a bang-up feeling. It ‘s besides incredibly intimate and shows a bunch of entrust. And I would be a liar if I did n’t say it is quite an ego rise. When you have made a girl snap up your hair, screaming as she comes, nowadays and then, I do have a brash little smirk to myself as I think “ Yes … I did that. ”
Man D: It ‘s very intimate and very trusting. I like being surrounded by my partner, and running my hands over her breasts, stomach, bottom, and legs .
Is there anything you don’t like about it?
Man A: On rare occasions, I encounter some little bits of toilet newspaper residue down there and that throws me off a bite.
Man B: Sometimes my partner does n’t want to make out subsequently ; it ‘s besides a trouble having to keep my confront very clean shave.
Man C: I truly can not think of a thing. It ‘s something I love doing and constantly have done.
Man D: I ‘m not blessed with the longest tongue, so it ‘s intemperate on my neck and I occasionally get a very huffy frenulum ( the bit of bark under the clapper ) .
What is it like to have your face buried in a vulva?
Man A: I find vagina aesthetically absorbing, but you rarely get a probability to in truth look at them up close. I like that cunnilingus creates that opportunity. The smack can be identical lemony, specially if the woman is in truth getting aroused and more juices come out. then there ‘s the matter of isolating the clitoris with your tongue — you ca n’t actually see it when your talk is on top of it, so you have to actually develop a tactile reason of the terrain and be attuned to how focusing your energy yields different results.
Man B: Usually my eyes are close. I love the direction it feels, I have a hard clock describing it because I ca n’t think of anything to relate it to. It ‘s a small bit like running your tongue along the inside of your buttock, at least the smooth/wet parts.
Man C: I love it. Looking up at her, nipples perkily up, and her moving about uninhibited. taste is never an consequence, apart from one charwoman who was fabulously bad-tasting. I still did it though. After a few seconds, taste becomes irrelevant. It is very sexy, as you use your tongue, lips, and fingers. The whole act is incredibly sensual.
Man D: I ‘ve never gone down on person and found it repulsive. My saliva will tend to make it all taste fairly achromatic reasonably cursorily. The bark inside the folds is fabulously smooth and lissome and very enjoyable to lick and kiss, and there ‘s the texture of the open to the vagina that ‘s courteous to flick and tease a little. It ‘s very immersive and enveloping. I like to put my hands around my spouse ‘s waist, and hug her into me .
Do you have opinions about vulvas? Like, if you get down there and it has certain qualities, are you excited or turned off?
Man A: I ‘ve never encountered a vagina I did n’t like.
Man B: I ‘ve been with women of multiple races and different shapes ; I think they ‘re all great and beautiful in their own way. Being shaved used to be a adult turn-on for me, but it does n’t matter to me anymore.
Man C: Over the years, I have seen all kinds of vaginas, and if I am being honest, I do n’t very have an opinion. I ‘d be the shallowest arse in the worldly concern if I stopped sex or broke up with a daughter because she had a big labium or she was n’t shaved or she tasted a small curious, things like that. If I ‘m with person, it ‘s because I like them and not just their vagina.
Man D: Some pubic haircloth is fine, but it is difficult if it ‘s extremely bushy. The hairs tend to get caught up in the action, which makes it sore for both people ( on the tongue and the vulva ), quite hard to breathe, and leaves a act of a mouthful of pubic haircloth at the end .
What do you like women to do while you’re going down on them?
Man A: When I ‘m nose-deep in purulent, I do n’t have a whole bunch of attention to spend on what the woman is doing — I like to focus on my efforts. But I like when she makes noises to communicate how she ‘s find, because that helps guide the physical conversation. If she responds more vocally to a certain kind of liaison, then I ‘ll spend more time on that, or if I ‘m coming on besides strong, I ‘ll align consequently.
Man B: I like when women tell me what ‘s working and help me bring them to orgasm. My main finish is making it as enjoyable for my partner as possible. then anything they do to help themselves get off is bang-up. If they want to lie second and close their eyes and be silent, that ‘s OK ; if they want to pull my hair’s-breadth or take more control, that ‘s big excessively.
Man C: angstrom long as she ‘s enjoying it, she can do whatever she likes.
Man D: The more outspoken a womanhood is, the easier it is to know what to do more or less of. It helps if your partner can angle their pelvis in roughly the way they want you to go — it ‘s identical unmanageable to tongue the entrance to the vagina when it ‘s pushed down into the bed .
What do you not like them to do?
Man B: Fart. I ‘ve never had it happen to me. Trying to keep that stripe alive.
Man C: At times, a female child has had her hands in my hair and getting more excite, started to pull it hard. That hurts. But it ‘s normally not deliberate, so it ‘s hard not to take it as a compliment.
Man D: If you ‘re straddling me, please do n’t actually sit on my grimace — keep a bit of slant on your legs, differently my excitement is credibly me gasping for air travel .
When you give oral sex, do you expect anything in return?
Man A: I think a sense of disappointment at not getting something back reveals a transactional approach to sexual activity that I find reasonably gross — “ I ‘ll suck you for 10 minutes but then you have to suck me for 10 minutes, I ‘ll start the clock. ” For us, the sexual activity evolves organically. If I want to barely pleasure her down there for fun and go read a bible, that ‘s cool. If we ‘re both truly into it and want to go for more, we go for more. normally at a certain point she says, “ I need your stopcock inside me correct now, ” and that reasonably much settles the interrogate of what comes adjacent.
Man B: I honestly just enjoy going down on my collaborator and would be finely with going down on her without getting anything in render. Since it ‘s normally part of our foreplay, it ‘s normally followed up with penetrative arouse. sometimes I get oral in retort.
Man C: When I was younger and I went devour on a girlfriend, I normally expected something in retort, whether it was broad acute sex, or her to go down on me. But I have n’t felt that way in a lot of years.
Man D: Nope. sometimes I ‘m felicitous going down on my partner when I ‘m not even particularly desire of sex myself, so it ‘s very much not a bargain distributor point or about keeping score. If she ‘s in the climate and I ‘m in the climate, I ‘m down.

Describe the best time you went down on a woman and why it was so great.
Man A: I ca n’t very isolate a particular know as best or worst — there have been so many times, and about all involve a great cope of similarity : dark, a bed, a vagina, my face.
Man B: I massaged my girlfriend ‘s whole body with oil and then lento massaged her vagina. By the prison term I went down on her, we were both so turned on that it was some of the best oral I have ever experienced. It ‘s a meanness and an closeness that ‘s hard to match.
Man C: It was n’t planned. We were having sex and it started to get a small rocky. I lay on my back and pulled her up until she was riding my boldness. This female child has highly intense orgasms, and I held onto her and kept going until she came an terribly fortune of times. Her whole body was shaking and she was short of breath. My grimace was soaked, and when I let go, she collapsed onto the sleep together [ and ] her legs were calm shaking.
Man D: I do n’t think there ‘s any one greatest fourth dimension, but it is very comforting when a womanhood has a in truth long, thick orgasm .
And the worst and why it was bad?
Man B: The worst is when I ‘m with a partner that gets self-conscious and asks me to stop. I feel like I ‘ve failed to set the mood right and make them feel ampere beautiful as they are to me.
Man C: I was 19, had met a daughter at a clayey metal club, and we snuck out the back together. The back yard of the clubhouse was covered with gravel and after some pretty inept bungling, she lay second and I started to go down on her. The combination of dancing all night, and going in and out of the toilet, had not mingled to produce a pleasant aroma. She was soaked with sweat and unfortunately did not taste the nicest anyhow. I ended up with gravel cuts on my hands and on my chin when I slipped a little. She was shivering because of the cold, and I was beginning to realize that I would not be able to perform. In the end, we gave up and went back into the club.
Man D: probably early on when I emerged, dripping, from under the eiderdown to find a collaborator who ‘d gone from potty to asleep. I thought she was precisely getting very close [ to orgasm ] .
Do you need to be at a certain point in the relationship to go down on your partner?
Man A: That in truth depends on how each person feels, but if you ‘re already having sex with person, I can only imagine good things happening if you proactively go down on her or ask if she wants that. The beginning time I had sex with my girlfriend, we did n’t get to it, by and large because we were therefore busy having all kinds of other identical passionate sex. then I got dwelling and was like, “ Shit, I forgot to go down on her. ” So I knew I needed to see her again and that was first on my tilt.
Man B: If I ‘m at a distributor point where I ‘m interested in person sexually, I ‘m normally exposed to oral.
Man C: The first time going down on a partner, I follow her. I ‘ve never pushed for it, or at least I hope I have n’t. If we are playing around, and I start making my direction down there, to me it ‘s very simple. If she starts to tense up or seems uncomfortable, etc., I stop. On the other hand, I have besides been with girls who barely can not wait to push your head down there.
Man D: For me, no. I ‘ve had partners for whom it ‘s an exceptionally inner act, and they ‘ve asked me not to go down on them. I respect that feeling, and for some of them, we ‘ve never reached that decimal point. I think there ‘s still some anxiety from women about what guys will think of them “ down there, ” and I guess that ‘s because there are some guys who do n’t enjoy it but do try and use it to “ score points. ”
Do you talk about it with your guy friends and trade tips or anything?
Man A: I have n’t done much of that, no. I tend to be more private about my sex life.
Man B: No, I have n’t gone down that way myself, but I ‘ve catch enough of cabinet board talk … but that ‘s for a different column.
Man C: No. I have two conclusion friends who are in firm relationships, and one has never gone down on a daughter in his life. His girlfriend has never let him, so talking to him would be otiose. I could n’t offer or trade tips as they would think it the height of arrogance or bumptiousness. At the same time, if they tried to offer me tips, I think my ego would flare up and ignore them.
Man D: Whoa, never. I do n’t think my friends and I have ever even talked about it, let alone discussed the detail or proficiency .
What’s the secret to giving good head, in your opinion?
Man A: Hmm, I ‘d say heed with your tongue and your ears. You need to feel around with your tongue to make certain you ‘re navigating the folds of skin and land on the clitoris, and then listen to her responses to gauge your volume.
Man B: It ‘s not about the head, it ‘s about the build up up and the tease leading up to it. If you do a good job setting the climate, and keeping the temper, then most of your work is done. angstrom far as actually giving head is concerned, keep things interesting. Lick, suck, and kiss anywhere and everywhere. Do n’t be afraid to try something newfangled or something that might seem a little strange at foremost. If it feels thoroughly, then nothing else will matter.
Man C: Follow the daughter ‘s lead. Start slowly, snog and lick softly beginning. then read her reactions. People who say they have “ guaranteed techniques ” are either liars or just deluded. There is no such matter .
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