9 Tips For Girl On Top, So You Can Feel More Confident

While you might like the estimate of climbing on clear of your partner and going to town in the “ cowgirl ” position, it is n’t always easy to know how to move during sexual activity, particularly when you ‘re the one in control condition. You might feel held back by insecurity, miss of have, or a miss of confidence. But if you follow a few tips for enjoying being on top, you ‘ll be riding your spouse like a professional in no time. And hey, it decidedly is a worthy goal. According to Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist who specializes in helping people have better relationships, “ girlfriend on top ” precisely so happens to be one of the best positions for orgasm. Unlike missionary, or other positions where your partner chooses the pace, cowgirl is all you. It ‘s region of the reason why it can be so fun — you get to be on fully display and control the footstep. Of course, the very lapp things that make “ riding cowgirl “ so great are precisely what can make it intimidating. “ A fortune of people feel self-conscious about being on top, ” Marin says. There ’ mho besides a draw to think about, body-wise. “ Insecurities come in the shape of how person will perceive their body condition, not having confidence in their sexual moves, or knowing what to do when they are on top, ” Marla Renee Stewart, MA, a sexpert for the sexual health brand Lovers, tells Bustle. “ There ‘s insecurities in knowing what will be enjoyable and how to go about getting that pleasure. There ‘s besides the thinking about stamina and how your bodies will align and early physical aspects of the sexual active. ” The best way to move past all of that ? Practice, communicate, commit some more, and remember to have fun. here are nine tips for feeling more confident on exceed, according to experts.

1. Give Yourself Permission To Feel Good

It ‘s in truth easy to get in your head while on crown and arrange pressure on yourself to have “ all the right moves. ” But Marin says there are no “ rights ” or “ wrongs ” when it comes to being on top. The most important thing is to figure out what feels right to you. That might mean closing your eyes and zeroing in on the sensations. If you feel distracted or self-conscious, flick off all the lights so that you do n’t have to think about what you look like from your spouse ‘s position. Sure, a few thoughts might pass through your head, but reel them back in and refocus on what ’ s going on down below .

2. Don’t Compare Yourself To Porn

According to Marin, one of the reasons so many people get stressed out about cowgirl is because of the way it ’ sulfur filmed in pornography. She says many performers bounce up and down and exert a lot of attempt, but that is n’t inevitably how it has to work in your life. If all of that apparent motion doesn ’ t feel correct, that ‘s OK. Cowgirl can be a relax situation, besides. Try sticking to a smaller range of gesticulate, moving slower, and grinding on your spouse alternatively of bouncing. Your partner can lie flat on their back while you straddle them. Lower down onto their penis or strap-on and lento start to rock back and away. experiment with clockwise and counterclockwise movements. To change the angle, put your hands apartment on the sleep together on either side of their head and thin advancing towards them. then try sitting back up again and leaning backwards slenderly. Each time you try something new, compare it to the early things you ‘ve tried, Marin says. It might make the position easier — and more enjoyable — if you go at your own footstep .

3. Practice By Yourself

Expert tips for girl on top sex positions. eclipse_images/E+/Getty Images If you ’ re feel shy about jumping right into experimenting with your partner, feel exempt to drill on your own to get a clear estimate of what the situation is like. Since cowgirl is all about how you move your hips, Marin suggests getting on your knees on your bed and stuffing a pillow between your legs. flush though it might feel pathetic, she says it ‘s a capital way to figure out what you like as you get used to the bowel movement. If you have a wand-style vibrator, you can even hold it erect on the bed and mount it, Marin says. That ’ ll give you even more of a feel of what it ’ ll feel like to ride a collaborator .

4. Get Turned On

foreplay can help, excessively. “ If you want to be more convinced on top, or with any sexual experience, get turned on first, ” Dr. Jess O ’ Reilly, PhD, a sexologist and ASTROGLIDE ambassador, tells Bustle. This might mean watching a sexy video, touching yourself, or sexting with your spouse. “ As you become arouse, the oxytocin and endorphins can help to lower inhibitions and allow you to tune into the moment rather of ‘ spectatoring ’ or worrying about how your partner feels, ” O ’ Reilly says. “ Tune in to your own joy and experience, and you ’ ll likely feel more confident careless of the put ! ”

5. Take A Class

Another tip off ? If you want to learn more about this position, build your potency, and ask person a unharmed bunch of questions, consider signing up for a class. “ Taking classes about how to ride or navigate intimate positions is a capital way to get informed about the things that you need to do, ” Stewart says. “ There are a few educators who teach erotic fitness classes to ensure that you have the stamina to keep it up ! ” Do a flying search for video on-line and see what you can learn .

6. Practice, Practice, Practice

If you pick up a new tip off in classify ( or get to the conclusion of this article ) find a time to hop into bed with a spouse to give it a attempt. “ Practicing something educates you more about your body and person else ‘s body and consequently, with more practice comes more ingrain cognition on what you need to do, ” Stewart says. ‘ The more you know, the more convinced you will feel about the situation. ”

7. Ask Your Partner To Take The Lead

Another manner to explore cowgirl is by asking your partner to grab your hips and move you around. This is not only super hot, but it besides takes the atmospheric pressure off you being the one to orchestrate everything. Try out different movements, speeds, and levels of penetration that feel good to you both .

8. Get The Rest Of Your Body Involved

How to be on top and feel more confident. Professional Studio/E+/Getty Images once you figure out how to move your hips while on top and feel more comfortable with the basic idea of cowgirl, Marin recommends reaching your hand down and touching yourself as you grind against your partner. This will make it easier for you to have an orgasm and your spouse will love being able to watch. You can besides ask them to touch you or use a vibrator. The more you both get into it, the less awkward it ’ ll palpate .

9. Keep Talking To Your Partner

It always helps to chat things out. “ Communicate about your feelings before entering the bedroom and attempting the work, ” Samantha, Heuwagen, LMFT, ACS, a therapist and sex therapist, tells Bustle. If you ’ rhenium feeling nervous or awkward, let them know. And keeping talking all throughout. “ Be candid and honest about what is going on for you so they can be there as an ally and hold system, ” Heuwagen says. “ nothing is worse than keeping these feelings to yourself ! ” As you figure out cowgirl, keep reminding yourself to focus on finding what feels adept for you. And remember, it ’ sulfur all about having playfulness ! Experts : Vanessa Marin, sex therapist Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert

Dr. Jess O ’ Reilly, PhD, sexologist Samantha, Heuwagen, LMFT, ACS, therapist and arouse therapist This article was in the first place published on Oct. 21, 2015

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.