1. Explore What Feels Good To You
While, yes, this technically can be said for all sexual activity positions, but because the cowgirl position does present its obstacles due to assorted insecurities in bed it ’ sulfur authoritative to truly mess around and see what works for you and what doesn ’ t. If you can let yourself be in the moment, focusing on feelings and sensations, which means getting out of your oral sex, you ’ re going to get means more out of the experience .
2. Realize How Amazing Your Body Is
Although I tend to exude a fortune of assurance in bed, I will admit that when I ’ meter in the cowgirl position, sitting up there on my partner, I do feel very exposed. If I don ’ thyroxine get a treat on my over-analysis about everything, I ’ ll wholly ob about my stretch marks, how my leave drop the ball is a bantam morsel bigger than my right, and this miserable scratch I have on my thigh from college-aged stupidity. But then I have to rein myself in and realize my body is actually quite gorgeous — as I start to quote Maya Angelou ’ s “ Phenomenal Woman ” in my head — so I can truly enjoy myself and quit overthinking thing .
3. Experiment Alone If You’re Iffy About Your Technique
As Marin wrote :
“If you feel really shy about experimenting with your partner, you can get a better sense of the movements by practicing on your own. Cowgirl is all about how you move your hips. Get on your knees on your bed and stuff some pillows between your legs. Try moving your hips around in a few different ways (we’ll get to some specifics in a moment). You’re going to feel a little silly, but go with it!”
And, let ’ s be honest, it credibly won ’ thymine be the first clock time you ’ ve humped a pillow .
4. Communicate With Your Partner What You Need From Their End
If you ’ rhenium anxious, tell your spouse. If you want them to give you feedback ( no matter how viciously honest ), tell them. share with your spouse your fears, insecurities, and what you need from them to in truth get the most out of having sexual activity on top. You ’ ll both feel better for communicating about it. “ Knowing what you want and being able to express that will ignite things in the bedroom, ” Sarah Watson, sex therapist and counselor, tells Bustle. “ talk with your partner about what turns you on and what does n’t. Decide how to explore wants and desires together. The more affair in the relationship by and large leads to a healthy intimate relationship. ”
5. Consider Introducing Toys To The Position
Read more: 21 Actually Mind-Blowing Anal Sex Positions
possibly you need even more clitoral foreplay with a vibrator or even some anal playing period to in truth bring the experience to complete fruition. Sex toys exist for a rationality — and that reason is to make arouse better and more excite. “ Vibrators kind of grade the dally field for women in the bedroom, ” Claire Cavanah co-founder of Babeland, tells Bustle, “ A set of women truly need the coherent foreplay on their clitoris to have like know as men have. ”
6. Include Some Dirty Talk
not only is cheating talk capital for your sex animation, it ’ south besides the best way for your partner to give feedback in a aphrodisiac room that sounds more like fun than an anatomy classify. Talking dirty can besides give you the confidence hike you need to very get into the position and enhance the frolic for both of you. You ’ re on top, so you ’ re in blame. You might adenine well take advantage of it. “ digit out what works for you and stick with it with little variations depending on the temper, ” sex adept, Davondra Brown, tells Bustle .
7. Don’t Forget The Foreplay
here ’ s a fun fact that you may not have known : “ Foreplay lowers inhibitions and increases the emotional comfort of the partners, ” according to Principles and Practice of Sex Therapy. so if you invest in enough foreplay, or at least enough until you feel good and ready to conquer the cowgirl stead, you ’ ll find that both you and your partner will benefit .
8. Do What Makes You Feel Comfortable
As is the encase with sex, in general, you need to make sure you ’ rhenium comfortable. If you get into cowgirl situation and give it a survive for 10 minutes, then realize you need a breakage, take that break. a much as pushing the intimate boundaries can be fun, you ’ re going to get the most out of the position if you stay in your comfort zone for now. Ten minutes of amazing is better than 20 minutes of, “ Is it my go to be on the bottom so far ? ”
9. Own Cowgirl For What It Is
If you truly want to get the absolute most out of anything in biography, whether it ’ randomness sex-related or not, you need to own it. “ sex is one of the most vulnerable acts we can engage in, ” says Watson. “ Insecurities can come from everywhere : former relationships, media, music, our own expectations, and lack of experience. Own it and learn from it if you want to work on it. ” You need to own that you love it, own that you ’ re chancy about it, or, if is the case, own that it ’ s not the put for you. That ’ s very want all of this comes down to and, in the action, you end up owning your sex, excessively. Images: Fotolia; Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle; Giphy (9)