How to Give a Blow Job

If you ‘ve landed on this article, it ‘s likely you have tons of questions surrounding the hows, the whats, and the why of a boast job : What are the best tongue movements ? Do I actually blow on anything ? Does it matter if my collaborator is circumcised or not ? Stop concern, ’cause we ‘ve got you with a superintendent digestible, comprehensible template on everything to know about giving a coke speculate. But before we get into some tips and techniques, it ‘s important to define what a blow job actually is and is n’t. intimate health educator at CAN Community Health Jasmine Akins says a gust job is a form of oral arouse where “ person ‘s mouth is on another person ‘s penis ” for joy purposes. This could mean beating, snog, sucking, touching, and caressing the penis in any way that feels thoroughly to you or your partner. Giving a blow job should always be a personal decision though. No one should ever force you or coerce you into giving a blow job—or doing anything you ‘re not comfortable with in general. so before you give a reverse job, ask yourself : “ Do I very want to give this person read/write head ? ” And if you don ’ metric ton answer with an astounding “ fuck yes ” then consider it a sleep together no.

That goes for whether it ’ s your first time with a raw collaborator, your first clock time ever, or literally any time. just because you give one once, it does n’t mean you have to again. I don ’ thyroxine care how much atmospheric pressure you feel from your friends, the person with the penis, or social standards, there is absolutely no need to rush a blow job until you ’ re 100 percentage ready. Another thing to be mindful of : only engage in relationships or situationships with people in which you feel your pleasure is equally reciprocated and respected. Blow jobs should be enjoyable for everyone involved, says sexpert Julieta Chiara. And we are here for adequate opportunity households : If you take out the pan, they do the dishes. If you cook, they clean. If you give them head, they give you head. See where I ’ thousand going with this ? These are all things that would have been vanadium helpful to learn in sex erectile dysfunction but since the school system failed, you have us. And now that we ’ re on the lapp page and you ’ ve decided you ‘re ready to dive headlong into the world of blow jobs, we ‘ve got all the tricks and tips you need to elevate your oral game. From how to keep your mouth wet, to finding a position to give capitulum in that does n’t make you sore the future day, to whether or not you should bring a vibrator into the mix, hera ‘s what the experts say is the key to a perfect float job.

1. Set the mood.

Do n’t worry, you do n’t have to bust out some heels and your sex playlist every time you give a blow speculate. But if you feel confident and aphrodisiac going into the feel, the overall vibration will just be hotter. Plus, just like you would with a romanticist date, creating an atmosphere that makes you both feel kittenish will get you both in the right headspace for a night of oral sex .

2. Ask what they like.

Yup, as with literally anything in a kinship, communication is the key to giving a big fellate job. Everyone ‘s different when it comes to sexual preferences, sol if you ‘re uncertain what to do, Chiara suggests merely asking. “ What works for one person will not for the other, so getting down to the effect is key, ” she says. You can even do this sexily so they think it ‘s dirty spill rather of equitable like asking for directions. Say something like “ I want to suck your dick. How do you want me to do it ? ” Watch their eyes light up and their penis jump to attention as they give you a play-by-play of precisely what they like. It ‘s crucial to note though that if you do n’t want to do why they ask for, or it makes you feel uncomfy, do n’t do it. This is n’t an agreement to actually do whatever they ask. This will barely give you an estimate of what they like. If you feel wyrd about not doing what they want, merely say they ‘re blue and cover their mouth with your hand ( unless they do n’t consent to that classify of thing ) .

3. Take some of the pressure out of it.

Deciding to give person a shock subcontract is a certified big deal. But that does n’t mean you have to take all the fun out of it. rather of trying to emulate a pornography star topology or worrying about giving the perfect blow problem, precisely be in the moment. Laugh if something punch-drunk happens. Take breaks for sips of water. Make jokes. Do some eldritch dancing moves rather of a sexy lick dance to ease the tension. Remember, this is about connecting and enjoying—not about putting on a Broadway-worthy performance .

4. Be all kinds of vocal.

Moans, groans, ooh and ahhs. Hell, even throw in a gurgle sound if the mood strikes you. The period is, do n’t be afraid to make noises or slurpy sounds—it ‘s not merely hot, but the vibrations from your sass will do wonderfully things to their peen. besides, dirty lecture is a bang-up way to not only turn up the hotness on the site but give your jaw a rest, explains international sex educator Kenneth Play. Stare into your collaborator ‘s eyes and say something along the lines of “ you taste so beneficial, ” “ you feel so good in my mouth, ” “ can I suck it harder ? ” Whether or not you actually do suck it harder does n’t matter, because they ‘ll immediately be closer to coming .

5. Pillows are your friend.

Whether you buy a pillow specifically for sex ( yes, sex pillows are a thing ) or you grab one off of the bed, pillows are one of the most underestimate additions to oral. not entirely can you put them under your knees if you ‘re giving a kneeling blow job, but you can use them to prop up your spouse ‘s hip, which takes some of the neck strain off of you and provides new sensations for them and new positions for you to try .

6. Also, yes, using lube is an A+ move.

Why would you need lube when you hate a mouthful of sprinkle ? Because spit dries up flying and lubricate makes everything better. not entirely will it keep things slippery, but if you give your mouth a break and use your hand, it ‘ll speed up the process and prevent you from getting tetanus. Opt for a season lubricant that doesn ’ thyroxine taste like a takeout bag and enjoy the fact that you can suck a cock that tastes like strawberries. The gladden of modern sex additives !

7. There is no wrong way to give a blow job.

You should equitable get that out of your head now because, hawaii, everyone has different tastes, preferences, likes, and wants, which means it ’ s going to vary for every person you ’ re with. “ Different people prefer different techniques, and there ’ s no direction to know about their favored unless you ask or listen to their reaction, ” says clinical sexologist Rachel Sommer, PhD, co-founder of My Sex Toy Guide. The merely way you could be doing it “ wrong ” is if you are doing the exact opposite of what they told you—but, again, if that means doing something you ‘re not comfortable with, then peace TF out .

8. That said, you should not be literally “blowing” anything.

I know the name is mislead, but we blow bubbles—not penises. Please, do not try to blow on your spouse ’ sulfur peen because that ‘s low-key what not to do. “ It ’ s more of a suck and lap and zero blow, ” confirms Sommer. “ I even tried blowing my fiancé once barely to make sure, and he didn ’ t like it a snatch. ”

9. Don’t just stroke your partner’s penis, stroke their ego.

Trust, the genial and emotional build-up to an orgasm is about a hot as the actual matter. This means that, yes, if you are looking at this blow occupation as if it ’ s a job, your partner will know you ’ re not into it. then, rather, “ show your enthusiasm ! ” says clinical sexologist Valon Alford, owner of Vitality Wellness Solutions. “ Use this time to focus on catering to your spouse. Your endgame is for your partner to feel like their pleasure is the most important thing in the universe, ” she says .

10. Appeal to alllllll of their senses.

Alford confirms : “ Appealing to the five senses ( see, taste, touch, palpate, hear ) is a great means to turn on your partner and set the mood. ” She suggests something arsenic little as burning a courteous aromatherapy candle or wearing your collaborator ’ sulfur darling perfume of yours. Rub their spinal column or jet some whipped cream in their mouth while you ‘re going at it. Get creative to put their senses in overdrive .

11. Don’t limit the blow job to the penis only.

There are tonnnns of pleasure spots on the torso you can stimulate. One I highly, highly recommend you get familiar with the perineum, the area between your collaborator ’ s scrotum and anus. “ It is highly sensible because it is home to a bunch of steel endings. specifically, the pudendal boldness controls muscles in the external anal sphincter and carries sense to the anus and penis. Giving this area a little attention can intensify joy, ” says Alford. She recommends using your tongue or index and in-between fingers to apply imperativeness there .

12. Dry mouth is a thing and it’s fine to admit it and work around it.

Whether you have dry mouth from nerves, allergy or prescription meds, or even precisely drinking alcohol anterior ( which yes, can dehydrate your mouth, who knew ? ), dry mouth is sup common and you can find a way to deal with it ! A little homework never hurt anyone—keep some chewing gum tree or sour candies by your bedside to help nudge your salivary glands into production, as ob-gyn Wendy Askew, MD, has previously told Cosmopolitan .

13. You can also prep, like, way beforehand too.

If you lurve giving head but your dry mouth is cramping your style, invest in some Xylitol-based mouthwashes specifically designed for dry talk, like Biotene or Smart Mouth Mouthwash. Xylitol mouthwashes ( remember, stay away from alcohol-based as it can cause dispassion ) actually helps stimulate saliva production and retain better moisture in the mouth, according to Dr. Askew .

14. You straight-up don’t have to give blow jobs if you don’t like it.

Like, umbrella statement, if you ’ ve tried it and you hate it and it makes you gag or it doesn ’ t make you joke and you just hate it, you very don ’ t have to do it ! There are batch of people out there who will be fine and understand if you ’ re like, “ Sorry, I don ’ thymine do that, ” and if they try to persuade you or guilt you, ew, red sag, dump ’ em .

15. The anecdotal “hack” that going deeper produces more spit might work for some, but you’re literally tricking your brain into going into PANIC MODE in order to do it, so don’t feel any pressure.

We all have that one friend who ’ s like, “ If you good keep going deeper and deeper, you ’ ll gag and it ’ ll produce more spit. ” Which, o, but if gag sucks and makes you feel like you ’ re going to die, the ends don ’ t always justify the means, yanomean ? According to Jarrett Manning, DDS, a dentist in Atlanta, Georgia, “ The body ’ s reaction to deep-throating is alike to that of gag, which is a defense mechanism preventing swallowing or choking. ” basically, “ when these areas in the back of your throat get triggered in such a room, the stimulation goes from your nerves to your brain ’ mho medulla oblongata, which happens to be located near the early areas of the mind that campaign you to get teary eyes and produce surfeit saliva, ” Aka there ’ s kind of a medical reason it might work, but you ’ rhenium legit like, hitting the “ PANIC ” button in your brain to get there. Please preceptor ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate ever force yourself to gag to the point where you ’ ra uncomfy in the hopes that if you keep going, you ’ ll hit some secret magic trick saliva fountain .

16. Not all people are into it.

There are some people with penises out there who are like, “ I don ’ t very like getting head. ” just like how some people with vagina find that getting head puts excessively a lot blackmail on them to orgasm to the point where they can ’ thymine delight it—stage fear is actual ! Don ’ t feel offended or take it personally if your partner just own ’ triiodothyronine about it .

17. Not everyone can orgasm from it.

Lots of people find that blow jobs just don ’ t do it for them. While media might make it seem like waste jobs are the holy grail and The Ultimate Thing that all penis-owners want 24/7, it ’ randomness sometimes barely not adequate for some people to go over the vertex. One ridicule who had an adult circumcision and has had sex both cut and uncut, previously told Cosmopolitan that while he could orgasm from oral pre-surgery, subsequently, it ’ s wholly impossible. Of course, that ’ s a special scenario ( adult circumcision is probs more rare than finding person who merely can ’ thymine orgasm from head ), but it ’ s just an example. If you ’ re going at it for ages and nothing ’ south happening, and your partner ‘s like, “ Yeah, I might not finish from this since I rarely can, ” do not take it personally. It ’ s admirable to want to be a sex magician who can do the unachievable, but if your call on the carpet deadass hurts, like, it ’ s not life or death if you stop .

18. You can and should straight-up be like, “Don’t do that,” if they try to do that thing where they shove your head down onto their dick midway through oral and you hate it.

If you ‘re into that ( which yes, people are ! ), ignore me. Do you. But if you are not into that and seaport ’ triiodothyronine previously said, “ Please use my head like a storm fleshlight while I ’ molarity in the middle of giving you head, ” that ’ s crude AF and you decidedly have a correct to call them out on it if not equitable walk away like, “ WTF is your problem ? ” It ’ s like people who shove their fingers in your mouth when you ’ re gape or something. Who raised you ?

19. You don’t have to do the kneeling-in-front position if you don’t want to.

There ’ s a time and topographic point for kneeling shove off jobs and there ’ randomness besides a time and home to be like, “ Fuck it, I want to be comfortable and keep motion from where I am veracious now to a minimum. ” If you try changing up your situation so you sit following to them, not in front man of them, you can change the sensation for your spouse, show off your ass, and you might find that it just makes things comfier for you on the whole .

20. Go ahead and make it about you too!

Bringing a vibration into things can make giving read/write head even hotter. You can use one hand to hold it while you ’ rhenium kneel and screen of ride on it for utmost control or put yourself to show yourself off using it so it ’ s like a double hex of oral and a show. No vibration or they do n’t do the job ? You ‘ve got another hand … practice it .

21. It’s pretty impossible to screw this up.

The only bad thing you can do, pre-BJ, is lowball your own abilities. If you ’ ve got a mouth and your partner ’ second got a cock, you have all the tools you need to give a perfect gust job. That said, if you ’ rhenium skittish about it, talk to your collaborator. If that ’ s off the table, lecture with some friends. No problem with being nervous—probably everyone who ’ s always performed oral sex has been ahead. Talking about it is the best remedy for BJ jitters .

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22. And if you do (which you won’t), you can always just…do it again.

The best thing about giving a partner the beginning shock job is that you can then ask for, basically, an oral sexual activity performance reappraisal. All sex—penetrative, oral, etc.—tends to get better with a spouse as you get to know each other better and communicate more. As you ’ ra comfortable, ask your partner what they like in a boast job or how you can craft a BJ perfect for them. And if your collaborator ‘s civilized, they ’ ll ask the lapp of you. A true win-win .

23. Your partner might be quiet but still be absolutely lovin’ it.

This is a problem among people with penises, many of whom seem to have been told, at some point, to literally never exude exuberance in sex. If your spouse ’ second secrecy is weirding you out, tell them then ! positive feedback is helpful for BJ novices and experts alike.

24. You can def do this in the shower.

Most shower sex is difficult to impossible —the literal black baseball diamond of arouse locations. But oral sex is both accomplishable and enjoyable in the shower. Have your partner stand out of the jet current ( so you can be in it ) and go to town after you ’ ve watched them wash their human body .

25. Balls exist and maybe you should incorporate them into this whole thing.

But don ’ metric ton do it without beginning asking if your collaborator is into that. And then follow that doubt up with, “ And how do you like your balls played with ? ” Because what people who don ’ t have them don ’ thyroxine know is that apparently, they ’ rhenium very sensible ! so wear ’ metric ton go yanking away without warning .

26. Also, this is a good time to address the butt.

once again : Ask your spouse if they like butt play before you venture into nameless district. And then if they give you the all-clear, ask again what kind of play they like. If they don ’ thymine know, check out some of these beginner anal play tips and oeuvre from there. This besides tends to speed up shock jobs, which, you know, might be a good thing .

27. Not to be a bummer, but you can get STIs from this.

Which is why wearing condoms during oral is a good theme, specially for raw, non-monogamous partners. There are plenty of season varieties if the smack of latex international relations and security network ’ t in truth your thing .

28. Take a play from Samantha Jones’s book and have them stand in front of a mirror.

There ’ second something cryptically ~sexy~ about watching yourself get it on ( why do you think sex tapes are a thing ? ? ). Use that over-the-door mirror you ’ ve had since freshman year of college for dirty purposes and status yourselves in front of it while you go down on your partner .

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29. You can speed up the process by adding foreplay to the foreplay.

Blow their freakin ’ mind and detract minutes from the total of time their D is in your M by teasing your partner pre–blow job. Getting them all worked up by kissing their hips and thighs feels big for them, and if you know your partner takes a bite longer to finish from oral, this might speed things up a bite. not that there ’ randomness anything wrong with taking your time ! But sometimes you need to put oral sex on the express lead. And there ’ s nothing wrong with that either .

30. They’re paying less attention to what your face looks like than you think they are.

Have you ever seen anyone eat a very large ice lolly ? Like, put their whole dang mouthpiece around it ( which, ouch, brain freeze ) ? It ’ s not a reasonably sight ! identical few people in this universe look their absolute best with their mouth stretched to its fully capacity. Don ’ metric ton put more blackmail on this already parlous situation by thinking you have to look perfect while hoisting a penis into your talk. What matters most to everyone involved is how this thing feels .

31. And speaking of that: It probably feels nothing at all like you think it does.

Unless you besides have a penis and have received a blow job before, the best you can do is merely speculate what getting one feels like. All you need to know is that most people describe them favorably, or as one guy articulately puts it : “ If sex is putting your penis in a wet, unplug vacuum … a blow job is plugging that vacuum in. ” So put all those worries that it doesn ’ thyroxine feel good out of your mind. assuredly, they ’ re into it. This content is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the lapp contentedness in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web web site .

32. You can literally ask your partner what they want.

Before your mouth is, hem, occupied, use it to ask questions : Do they want you to get your hands involved ? Do they want to lie down or stand up ? Do they prefer lots of noises or nah ? Asking questions and getting answers is not only a playfulness room to get ~in the mood~, but it can besides help put any concerns or anxieties you have at still.

33. A penis doesn’t have eyeballs and can’t tell the difference between the back of a throat and the roof of a mouth.

All those despicable surfaces on the inwardly of your mouth basically just all feel the same. Except your teeth, obviously. I don ’ t have a penis, so I don ’ thymine personally get the invoke of deep-throating, but ( lightly ) ramming the tap of their dick into the roof of your mouthpiece feels like the same thing and it doesn ’ t make you gag .

34. Anyone who DEMANDS a blow job is almost certainly not worth a moment of your time.

Yeah, this should go without saying, but I ’ megabyte gon na say it anyhow : No one should ever demand or force any sexual work from you, and this goes for blow jobs besides. Some people have this ( ill-timed, completely bogus ) theme in their mind that they deserve oral sex. LOL, no. If anyone always says they require a blow job, feel free to say you require hooking up with people who aren ’ triiodothyronine dickheads .

35. It isn’t a fancy massage at a spa and therefore doesn’t have to be all about them.

You ever heard of something called sensate focus ? It ’ s a arouse therapy proficiency in which you focus on allude and the physical pleasure it brings you, and you can wholly use it to ease blow out job anxiety or good ~mix it up~ a little. basically, rather of doing what you think you ’ re supposed to do to make them feel great, hire blow job techniques that feel playfulness and exciting to you. oral sex doesn ’ thyroxine have to be equally unilateral as its reputation says it should be .

36. A penis isn’t a vagina or a Slip’N Slide and doesn’t just get wet on its own.

I mean, there ’ sulfur pre-ejaculate, but that ’ s like a light rain shower when a proper BJ normally requires a torrential downpour. Drink some water and be prepared to use all the spit you can muster. Do n’t be afraid to literally spit on their penis if things get dry. It ’ s not gross. This is person you make out with ( probably ), and trust me, they ‘ll think it ‘s hot .

37. You do not have to bow down before their erect penis like it’s royalty.

In movies and television receiver shows and whatever else, the only BJ military position ever depicted is person on their knees, bobbing their head back and away while their partner stands up like a stately Greek god. This is so rare IRL ! You don ’ t have to invest in knee pads like Stephanie from seventh degree said you would ! Stephanie lied to you. Just get on the sleep together and do it lying down. It ’ south COMFIER .

38. You don’t have to swallow and then giggle and say, “OMG, it’s so fun to swallow your hot, steamy cum. I really love it a lot!”

besides, you equitable don ’ t have to swallow at all. The person whose dick you ’ ra suck is not going to scream and holler at you if you demurely dispose of their semen into a napkin or cup or something. They might get a little swage if you spit it directly onto their expression, but that ’ s actually something the two of you should discuss. This content is imported from { embed-name }. You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site .

39. Your hands can pinch-hit when your mouth needs some time on the bench.

The average penis is 5.16 inches ( when hard ). I haven ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate measured the inside of my mouth, but I am pretty damn sure there aren ’ t 5.16 inches of distance between my lips and the back of my throat. And no way do I recommend going for break and shoving a penis down your esophagus. Let your hands help. Put the lean in your mouthpiece and your hands around the base, and voilà. This is within the acceptable rules of play .

40. You’re not going to accidentally bite down on the penis with your teeth and sever it and leave your partner sterile forever.

There is an excessive number of horror stories about people who incidentally use their teeth during a BJ and, like, skin their partner ‘s cock with their razor molars or something. This is n’t a thing. Teeth should not be the Big Concern. I feel like they kind of merely disappear when this whole act starts, IDK .

41. Sometimes a penis doesn’t smell good and that’s because some people are disgusting.

I don ’ thymine think anyone expects a arduous penis to smell like Chanel perfume or a strawberry Lip Smacker or whatever ( although, OMG, they should ), but some people are less clean than others. besides. People sweat more in the summer. Consider this. The genitalia area is not free of sweat glands. personally, I don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate think it ’ s ill-mannered to kindly suggest a aphrodisiac shower together advance .

42. Penises that look small and non-menacing sometimes feel like novelty-size pool noodles when they are inside your mouth.

Oh, it looked like a little finger finger from afar, but immediately that it ’ s in your talk, it ’ s like one of those small toys that grows when you put it in water. What ’ sulfur happening in there ? Who knows ? possibly we ’ re all overestimating the size of our mouth holes .

43. You can use your tongue to trick them into thinking they’re all the way in your mouth.

Like ~magic~, if magic were perverted. You don ’ t have to barely tuck your tongue aside and hide it while this consequence is taking target. You can use it ( like the roof of your mouth thing ) to trick your partner into thinking they ’ re basically pumping away into your digest. Just either tuck their penis underneath your natural language or use your clapper to block the rear of your throat ( this besides protects your delicate gag reflexes equitable in event ) .

44. A blow job isn’t like a magic button that makes someone come right now immediately.

Although people do seem to love them, it ’ s not something that begins and ends in a matter of seconds ( normally ). These things can be a lot of oeuvre, particularly if you ’ re down there for, like, 15 minutes. You can quit literally whenever you want though—never feel like you ’ re dropping out of a slipstream early .

45. A BJ can be foreplay and doesn’t have to be the Big Main Event of the evening.

Yeah, not all BJs have to end in a spout of geyser-esque ejaculate shooting away into the air. You can do this for merely, like, a little act until they get all riled up, then move on to early sex things .

46. This is one thing that porn can actually teach you a lot about, like the graphic sex ed you never had in school.

sex erectile dysfunction should decidedly be better in this state, but I in truth doubt we ’ ll ever have gym coaches teaching well gust job decorum in front man of a crowd of confused teenagers. And that ’ mho probably for the best ? Anyway. People don ’ thyroxine sleep together IRL like they do in pornography, but sometimes those close-up shots of person ferociously sucking a D can serve as adept little tutorials on how to move your head. Just don ’ triiodothyronine attempt deep-throating if you ’ re not very experienced .

47. Literally no one can deep-throat without gagging.

I vaguely remember some girlfriend in, like, ninth grade telling me that all grow women literally swallow lidocaine or the stuff in those Orajel swabs before giving a blow job so they don ’ deoxythymidine monophosphate gag on a cock. Don ’ thymine do this ! Don ’ t drink lidocaine ! No ! The solution here is to barely not deep-throat a penis. Gag reflexes exist for a rationality. And you decidedly don ’ t want to throw up on person you ostensibly like .

48. You do not have to give a BJ just to get a BJ of your own.

If person refuses to go down on you because you don ’ t like giving BJs or has a disgusting fetid penis that you don ’ metric ton want in your sass or for literally any other argue, they suck ( except lol, they don ’ triiodothyronine absorb, hahaha get it ? ) .

49. 69ing is terrible and overrated and bad, and let’s just ban it already.

Okay, possibly you like it, but IMO, it is atrocious and speechless. The whole steer of oral arouse is that you can just lie there and do nothing while person else gives you extreme joy. 69ing is like if you had to file your taxes at the lapp fourth dimension as getting a professional massage. Doesn ’ thyroxine that sound like a nightmare to you ? Because it is. It would be a nightmare .

50. It doesn’t make you a slut to enjoy giving BJs and it doesn’t make you a prude to hate giving BJs.

This one sex act is way grandiloquent ( LOL, good-for-nothing, I ’ megabyte regretful ), but in truth, it ’ randomness equitable one thing on an endless menu of sex things you can do to a person. No one decent will cut things off with you if you don ’ t like giving BJs, and I swear, if anyone ever slut-shames you for liking BJs, direct them to me immediately because there ’ s a conversation we need to have. You like what you like and hate what you hate, and it ’ s all ticket and good.
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